I'm Not Meant To Be Happy
by heartsdesire456
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks always dreamed to defeat Dark wizards and help protect the wizarding world. So, after graduating, she entered Auror Training. After beginning she realized that being an Auror under the rule of Fudge was nothing like she had imagined.RLNT
1. teeshirts and secrets

Disclaimer: ITS MY IMAGINATION! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! but the stuff you recognize belongs to the wonderful JK from whom we were gifted with harrypotter.

_" Come on Auntie Bella! You can do better than this can't you?" a young, petite woman screamed as she barely dodged a stunner from a woman with heavily lidded eyes and dark hair. The ends of her spikey bubble-gum pink hair was singed as the stunner barely passed her head. " I thought you were ' The Dark Lord's most faithful' or some rubbish li-" _

"NYMPHADORA TONKS! If you aren't at this office in twenty minutes your FIRED!" A tangled mass of sheets fell to the floor with a thump and a squeel. From the center of the pile came a sleep dazed mumble, which was shortly followed by a young woman with short violet hair.

" I'm up, im here...what?" Tonk's looked around in a daze and noticed the smoldering remains of the howler that had woken her. Her dream had been odd, but the details were slipping away as the sleep cleared from her head. She glanced up at the alarm clock on her dresser and realized that she was supposed to have been at work over an hour ago.

" Oh, Crikey!" Tonks jumped up and ran through her flat tearing off yesterdays sleep things as she went. She flew into the bathroom and set to washing her face as the helped herself to a Tooth-Flossing Stringmint. She quickley dashed back to her sky-blue bedroom and tore open the door to an old oak wardrobe. Withought paying attention, the woman grabbed a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a set of wizarding robes and set to struggling into the jeans.

Five minutes later she dissapeared with a resounding POP and appeared instantly in the lobby of the Ministry of Magic. The young woman's clothes and hair attracted attention as she sprinted for a set of golden lifts at the opposite end of the atrium. Right as the doors to a particularly full car were closing she slipped through the doors withought regard to the people she slammed out of the way. Tonk's shuffled impatiently as a cool female voice named each floor they passed. After what seemed like hours, the voice was announcing her destination "Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services."

As soon as the grills had opened far enough, she hurtled out of the lift and sprinted flat out for a doorway marked Auror Headquarters. She headed for the cubicle marked 'Kingsley Shacklebolt' and stopped long enough to draw a breath before entering.

" I'm so sorry i'm late, please don't fire me! I'll never do it again i promise!" As Tonks pleaded in one breath to keep her job she failed to notice the laugh that threatened to escape from the bald, earring clad man before her. After a moments silence, and much to her dismay, Kingsley let out a laugh soo loud that it startled a short, plump witch who was passing by with a silver mail cart. A look of sincere puzzlement crossed Tonks' face. " Whats so-"

" Tonks, when I told you to be here in twenty minutes, i didn't mean for you to rush so fast you didn't realize what you were wearing!" He let out another laugh as a blush appeared on the face of the young auror before him as she glanced down at her clothes. She was wearing a pair of artfully torn jeans that looked nowhere near professional accompanied by a short, tight, midrift showing red t-shirt bearing the words I THINK YOUR BROOMSTICK IS SEXY.

" I'll be working on some files if anyone needs me." Tonk's said with a bright red flush that nearly matched her rather eye-catching top.

Later that day, Tonk's sat doodling on the parchment upon which she was supposed to be finishing a report concerning a witch whose garden had attacked the muggle post-man as he tried to deliver a package. The seemingly innocent Annuals had started chomping at the poor mans socks when he attempted to cut through the flower beds instead of follow the absurdly curvy walk up to the front door. The witch had gotten off with a warning after she had explained that they were charmed to keep animals from tearing up her flowers.

By the time Tonk's finished the report most everyone else had gone for the day and the light's had been extinguished. With a sigh, she closed the rather stressful report and exhaled forcefully, causing the parchment with the doodles to fly out of her cubicle and into the corridor. While grumbling in agrivation, she stood to go get it when a voice startled her.

" Whats this? Unhappy with your job, Tonks?" Kingsley was smiling to himself as he read the scribbles on the parchment like ' Fudge Sucks' and ' They call us aurors... HA! we're just glorifyed pencil pushers'.

" Hey Kingsley, sorry about that, i just feel that sometimes this isn't the job i originally signed on for. I mean, Dumbledore says that Voldemort is back and i believe him. But the Ministry has us wasting our time with sock-eating Daisies when we should be out there hunting Death Eaters! I wish there was some way I could do something useful, something that an Auror should be doing." With a sigh, she turned to her chair and gathered her cloak and started to leave.

" Tonks, what if i told you i know a secret organization that does exactly what you speak of. Hunt's down Death Eaters and keeps tabs on Voldemorts movements so that when the Minister gets his head on straight, and recognizes that He's really back, we won't be behind?" He had a look in his eye that told her that he was serious and it was no joke.

Withought another moments hesitation she spoke, " Where do i sign up?" To fight Death Eaters and help protect the wizarding world from dark wizards, that was the reason she signed up for Auror Training in the first place! She finally had the chance to do somethin worth-while for a change!

Kingsley smiled at the look on her face as she realized what this could mean for her future. Then as she stared him dead in the eye he descided to let her in. "There is a secret organization that existed during the First War and was reformed right after Voldemort returned. The Order of The Phoenix is headed by Albus Dumbledore and has a secret hidden headquarters right here in London. I will speak to Dumbledore and arrange for you to attend the next meeting if and only if you are truely serious about joining. I won't try to fool you when i say, that of the original Order, there weren't nearly as many survivors as there were losses. So... Nymphadora Tonks, are you serious about joining the secret, legendary Order of the Phoenix?"

Tonks only took a split-second to make up her mind. " Dead Serious." After she spoke there was a seconds silence and then Kingsley offered his hand and as she shook it said, "Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."


	2. Amorous Undergarments

**Disclaimer: come on, like i could think up something as kick-ass as Harry Potter? HA!**

**A/N: sorry about this chapter. there is alot of stuff that you know already, but Tonks had to find out somehow and i can't simply skip it all... plus i hate the ones where she doesn't find out untill he's there staring her in the face! **

Three days passed and Tonks heard no word from Kingsley or Dumbledore about the Order. She began wondering if it might have beeen a dream and that she had fallen asleep at her desk. _No_, she thought_, if I had been dreaming, I would have realized it._ With a sigh, she went back to doing her current report on a set of knickers that caused the muggle wearer to become rather... _amorous._ After a reading a few notes on the report, she descided that this was really a job for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office.

The young woman stood and left her cubicle. When she got to the corridor,she turned left instead of heading to the lifts. She walked down the corridor and came to a door with a small brass plaque on the wall reading:

**Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office**

Head of Office: Arthur Weasley

Tonks stuck her head into an office the size of a broom closet. There were two desks and some file cabinets crammed haphazzardly into the small, cramped space. On one desk was a picture of nine red-headed people, all of which were smiling and waving at the tall, slightly balding man with read hair who sat behind the desk.

"Hello, Mr. Weasley." Tonks said, smiling as the startled man jumped slightly at her voice. He looked around nervously and smiled as he caught sight of her.

"Oh, dear, you startled me. And how many times do I have to remind you, call me Arthur. We're Colleagues now." He smiled up at the young woman as a scarlet blush tinged her cheeks.

"Now Mr. Weasley, you can't expect me to suddenly start calling my best friend's father by his first name do you? Do you know how wierd that would be? That would be as wierd as calling Proffessor McGonagall by her first name!" Tonks laughed at the idea of calling her, slightly scary, former teacher by her first name. Arthur Weasley joined in her laughter and then seemed to suddenly remember something.

With a look of realization on his face, he turned to Tonks. "Tonks, dear, would you close the door for a moment?" She looked puzzled but complied to his request and crossed the small space and shut the door. "Now, I have a message for you from Dumbledore. He informed me that you were joining the Order and that it would be a good idea of me to accompany you to the meeting." With this, he handed her a small note with Dumbledore's writing on the front. She quickly slit the seal and began to read the rather short message on the page.

_Nymphadora, the meeting of the Order of The Phoenix is tonight at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Arthur will Accompany you to the meeting at 7:00. _

Tonks read this letter and looked questioningly up at Arthur and asked, "So, your in the Order? Who all else around here is in the Order?" Her mind was whirling with the information she had recieved mixed with the excitement of finally goint to her first meeting. She turned to see Arthur burning the piece of parchment she just read.

"Tonks, I'm afraid i have to get back to work, at 6:45 I would like for you to meet me here and when we get there, I'm sure everyone will be introduced." She had turned to leave and her hand was on the knob when he suddenly remembered. "Tonks," she turned back, "what did you originally come for anyway?"

Suddenly she remembered the file in her hands. "Oh, its just this case report that I think is more of your department that what us Aurors do. It involves a muggle set of undergarments that has strange effects on the wearer in the most inoppertune moments." She handed him the file and left, but not before hearing a rather loud snort of laughter and muttering something about "Amorous undergarments. Hope its nothing of Fred and George's doing." She continued back to her cubicle and spent the rest of the day trying to remember why Number 12 Grimmauld place sounded so familliar.

At 6:30, she suddenly realized where she had heard of Number 12 Grimmauld Place. With a shocked expression, she jumped up, gathered her stuff, and went rather swiftly to meet Arthur Weasley. She turned the corner for the second time that day and started to jog towards the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. When she got there she burst through the door so quickly that poor, unexpecting Arthur Weasley started so bad that he upset his chair. Seconds later he had untangled himself and climbed out from under his desk.

"Tonks! You startled me. i wasn't expecting your for a few minutes-" but she cut him off.

"Mr. Weasley, I just realized why the address of the Headquarters seemed familliar." The man sitting before her paled slightly. " My mother told me of the house where her aunt, uncle and cousins lived. She talked about how they were Dark Wizards and that the house was in a muggle neighborhood, but was unplottable so the muggles couldn't see it.."

Arthur had met Andromeda and Ted Tonks on several occasions before, seeing as his son, Charlie, had been Tonks' best friend since they had met many years ago at Hogwarts. He suddenly had a thought. "Tonks, what was your mothers maiden name?"

Tonks was surprised, but calmly answered. "Black. Andromeda Black." The look that crossed Arthur Weasley's face confirmed her suspicions. With a sigh, Arthur turned to her and nodded.

"Yes. The Headquarters is the House of Black. And-" He glanced at Tonks, hoping she wouldn't over-react. "- The one who suggested for us to use it was- please Tonks, don't freak out- Sirius Black." As soon as he finished, he regretted not putting a silencing charm on the room.

"WHAT! THAT ROTTEN, FOUL, TRAITOROUS MURDERER WHO WAS ONCE MY FAVORITE COUSIN? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Here she paused for a breath and was about to continue but was cut off.

"Yes Tonks, but let me explain! Sirius didn't betrey anyone or murder anyone! He was wrongly accused of betraying his best friends, James and Lily Potter, and of murdering Peter Pettigrew. He didn't do it. Pettigrew betrayed the Potters and then Pettigrew escaped as a rat in his animagus form when Sirius caught up with him. Pettigrew framed Sirius and because of it, Sirius spent 12 years in Azkaban." He proceeded to tell her about how he escaped to Hogwarts over a year ago to stop Pettigrew from hurting Harry Potter, who was Sirius's Godson. "And he discovered that my son, Ron's, pet rat was indeed Pettigrew in hiding. To imagine i had that bastard in my house-sorry Tonks. He managed to get Ron, Harry Potter and their other friend Hermione into the Shrieking Shack he and Remus Lupin ( the poor fellow who taught at Hogwarts untill it got out that He was a Werewolf) were about to kill him when Harry descided that they should turn him in so that Sirius's name would be cleared." He then proceeded to tell her about how Pettigrew escaped and that Sirius had to go back into hiding.

When he had finished, Tonks' head was reeling with all the information she had just obtained. As she processed the information something hit her. "You speak fondly of Harry Potter. Do you know him well?"

"Ah, Molly has sort of adopted him as an eighth son. Poor dear couldn't stand for him to go back to his muggle relatives. She can't wait for him to come to us, of course, Sirius can't wait for him to come as well." He glanced at his watch and jumped "Oh dear! its ten 'till seven! We need to go. We won't really Side-Along apparate, you should just hold on to me and I'll sort of guide you along. Here we go dear."

With a POP they appeared in a dirty little square on an empty muggle street. As they thought about where they were, a house suddenly appeared between numbers 11 and 13. Tonks took it all in as they approached a large black door with a slightly foreboding knocker. Arthur reached up and gently knocked on the door. Seconds later the door was opened and staring out was none other than Sirius Black.

**A/N: I know, not much of a cliffie. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. more will come soon as I have nothing better to do all summer than sit at my computer writing fanfics, or get out my notebook and work on my novel and personally, typing doesn't hurt nearly as much as holding a pen for hours at a time while fighting writers block. Review if you like it... or even if you don't, i like constructive criticism.**


	3. The Order

**A/N: ok, i need reviews. all i ask for is one review per chapter, its that too much to ask? I know people are reading this story, and i have gotten one review and i want to thank the person who review because they are KEWL!**

_last chapter:_

_With a POP they appeared in a dirty little square on an empty muggle street. As they thought about where they were, a house suddenly appeared between numbers 11 and 13. Tonks took it all in as they approached a large black door with a slightly foreboding knocker. Arthur reached up and gently knocked on the door. Seconds later the door was opened and staring out was none other than Sirius Black._

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Sirius beckoned them in and they followed. Sirius had just shut the door and turned when he was ambushed by the young witch. She flung her arms around his neck and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. After a moment Sirius glanced down. " Um... hello."

Tonks pulled back and smiled up at him. "Oh, i'm sorry! Must have scared you to death to have some strange witch throw herself on you." She closed her emerald eyes and seconds later she opened them and they were a cool grey color.

Sirius had only to glance at the young woman with long black hair and grey eyes to realize who it was. "TONKS!" He puller her into another hug and smiled down at her "Oh, so thats why your hair kept changing colors when you were little. I see that you got your looks from our side of the family, didn't you."

She laughed, "It's good to see you again too, dear cousin. It's been too long, what was it, my eighth birthday? Or was it some where in the winter after i turned eight?"

"Tonks! It happened to be the second week of November after you turned eight." Sirius said in mock indignation.

"Wow, you remember the month? How can you remember something from fifteen years ago?" She said in awe. "I can hardly remember what i ate for breakfast this morning!"

"Well, I-" Sirius started but was cut off by Arthur. "You two can take a walk down memory lane later, but right now the meeting is starting and I'm sure Tonks doesn't want to be late to her first meeting."

The three of them made their way down the steps to the basement kitchen. Arthur walked over to the stove and kissed his wife hello and then took a seat the the long table. Sirius flopped down beside a thin man with light brown hair that was flecked with grey. He glanced up and noticed that Tonks was still standing, glancing around the room awkwardly.

"Oi, Tonks! Come here." Sirius then gestured to an empty seat beside him. Tonks quickly made her way over and sat down. She glanced around the table and picked out faces she recognized. There was Kingsley Shacklebolt, Alastor 'Mad-eye' Moody, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Professor McGonagall, and much to her displeasure, Professor Snape. Everyone else she thought she may have seen, but didn't know their names.

There was a sudden 'pop' as Dumbledore materialized at the head of the table. "Hello everyone. Lets get started. As I'm sure many of you have noticed, we have a new member with us this evening. I'd like to introduce to everyone Nymphadora Tonks."

Tonks winced. "Please, only Tonks."

"Oh, i'm sorry, Let me introduce to everyone, Auror Tonks as she prefers to be called. Many of you may be familiar with Ms. Tonks, but those who aren't i'd like to introduce you. We'll start with, ah, Hestia. Tonks, this is Hestia Jones-" a pink cheeked, dark haired lady smiled. "Elphias Doge" he indicated a silver haired wizard-"Dedalus Diggle"- the wizard doffed his top hat-"Emmeline Vance"- a stately looking witch nodded-"Sturgis Podmore"-he pointed to a square jawed wizard with thich blonde hair- "and Remus Lupin."-the wizard she had noticed earlier sitting beside Sirius smiled.

"Ah, now that the introductions have been made, lets get on with business. Arthur, Sirius, how is Harry coping with his Aunt and Uncle?" Arthur stood and gravely shook his head.

"Not well, Albus, not well at all. Each letter Ron gets is worse and worse. He seems to be getting restless and Molly and I are worried that he may do something reckless if we keep him there much longer." Arthur sighed and shook his head some more as he sat back down.

Sirius nodded in agreement. "All his letters are getting angrier and angrier. He keeps pressing me for answers and each time I don't give them to him the letters get nastier and nastier." He smiled and glanced beside him." I wouldn't be surprised if his next letter doesn't contain words that would make Remus here faint." Remus shot Sirius a dirty look but smiled as well. "And if I were you Arthur, I'd check Ron's letters before he gets them, just incase Harry sends him a cursed letter or something." The table erupted in chuckles and Arthur smiled.

Dumbledore sighed. "We won't be able to keep him there much longer. He's too much like you, Sirius. He won't be submissive for much longer." Sirius smiled at the thought. Dumbledore glanced at his pocket watch."Goodness, look at the time! I really must be off. Meeting adjourned." And with that, he dissapeared with a 'Crack'.

Most of the people began to file out towards the front door, leaving Sirius, Remus, Tonks and the Weasleys in the kitchen. Tonks stood and circled the table. She went over to the stove where Molly Weasley was cooking. "Mrs. Weasley, it's wonderful to see you!" She hugged her for a few moments and then let go.

"Tonks, dear, how many times do I have to tell you, call me Molly!" Tonks smiled but shook her head at the woman.

"Mrs. Weasley, I'll tell you the same thing I told Mr. Weasley; It would be too wierd to suddenly start calling you best friends parents by their first names. I'm sorry, but to me, you'll always be Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Speaking of which, whats Charlie been up to?"

"Oh, still working with dragons in Romania. He's doing work for the Order as well though." Mrs. Weasley turned to her with a puzzled expression. "You havn't heard from him lately?"

Tonks shook her head. "No, but you tell him that if he doesn't send me a letter soon, i'm sending him a Howler that will make even the dragons blush." This announcement was met by a peal of laughter from Sirius, who was at the table with his chair propped on two legs and his feet up on the table. Unfortunately for him, Molly saw this.

"SIRIUS! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! FEET OFF THE TABLE!" Molly's screaming made Sirius's chair tip over backwards spilling him onto the floor. The whole room rang with laughter as Sirius scrambled back into his chair. He soon joined in the laughter.

After the laughter had died down, Tonks took the seat across from Sirius. "Sirius, what was so funny about what I said to Molly?" He smiled and let out a bark of laughter.

"You said you would send a Howler that would make a dragon blush. I always told your mother that it wasn't a good idea to you spend so much time with me as a young child."

Molly overheard his statement. "So that's what's wrong with you, Tonks. You spent too much time with him as a child. That explains why every letter we got from the school about Charlie missbehaving had your name in it every other sentence." Molly smiled at the shocked looks on Sirius and Remus's faces and the blush that started to spread over Tonks' cheeks.

Remus was the first to speak. "So, she not only looks like you, but acts like you as well. Are you sure, Padfoot, that she isn't really your long lost baby sister instead of your distant cousin?" Sirius smiled and glanced at Tonks.

"I don't know, she sure does seem to have more Black in her than Tonks. And your right, she does look like me." Tonks looked startled."

"Look like you, I don't look-" Tonks died off as she realized that she had her natural hair and eyes. "OH! Well, this is how I was born looking, but this is how i usually look." With that, she closed her eyes and concentrated. When she heard Remus gasp she opened her eyes and smiled. Her hair was short, spikey and bubble-gum pink. Her eyes were a frosty greyish-green.

"I'm a metamorphmagus. It's bloody helpful too, probably the only reason I passed Auror training. I'm dead clumsy you know, I think today is the first day I've ever went that I didn't fall on my face atleast once." She raised her arms in mock celebration and everyone in the room laughed.

Sirius grinned at her with a look in his eye that made her apprehensive to what was comming. "So, Tonks, what _are _you going to put in that Howler to poor, unexpecting Charlie?"

Tonks grinned evily. "I think I'll charm it to be loud enough to be heard by the who encampment, so that all of the guys working with him will have something to pick on him about. And then I'm gonna make rude accusations and call him things that very few have ever heard me say."

Sirius laughed. "What things, dear Cousin, will you call him that would make a dragon blush?"

"Sirius, I can't say those kind of things in the same room as my best friend's parents! And besides, you probably have said them all at some point in time and they wouldn't shock you nearly as much as they will the other dragon keepers that work with Charlie. I wish I had some that would shock him, but honestly, why else would my name have been in all of Charlie's letters from Professor McGonagall?"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and turned back to Tonks. "Well, you better not let Moony hear you say them, he might have a heart attack." Remus turned to them both.

"Oh, please. Sirius, if you havn't said every word she intends to put in that Howler, then I'm a Hippogriff." Remus smiled slyly and Sirius turned to Tonks with a sigh.

"Well, thats probably true you know, Noone could ever out-prank or out-swear a Marauder." Remus and Sirius both smiled.

Molly turned from the stove. "I don't know about that. Tonks and Charlie might could out-swear you, Sirius, and I'd be willing to bet that Fred and George could out-prank you." Sirius snorted in disbelief. But Remus turned to him.

"I don't know, Padfoot," he lowered his voice so that only Tonks and Sirius could hear him. "You've only seen Fred and George around Molly. You didn't teach them for a whole year." Tonks smiled and Sirius chuckled.

Everyone sat in a companionable silence while Molly cooked. Tonks looked at Sirius. It was nice to have him back. She had nearly forgotten how wonderful he was to have around. She glanced over at Remus. _So, _She thought, _This is Remus Lupin. The one Mr. Weasley said was a werewolf. _At first, she had been slightly wary of meeting a werewolf, but she descided that Remus Lupin was really a nice man. He seemed to be just as nice and fun loving as Sirius. _He's cute, too._ Tonks shook herself mentally, she couldn't help but agreeing though, he was very hansome.

_It doesn't matter that he's older than me, he's really cute._

_NO! I can't think like that. He's my collegue, maybe we can be friends, nothing more._

The other voice in ther head protested, _You know you think he's cute._

Tonks mentally shook herself again, but was thankfully distracted by Molly asking her to go upstairs and get the children.

Tonks had just left to go get the Weasley children. Remus couldn't help but smile as he watched her skip happily out of the kitchen. _She really is cute._

Remus shook himself. _Did I really just think that? No, I can't have, I'm not supposed to think that way. _He imagined how soft her short bubble-gum pink hair must be._ NO! I'm not supposed to think like that, she's way to younge for me and besides, what would she see in an old, poor werewolf like me?_

He was brought back from his thoughts by a comotion that sounded like a heard of elephants crashing down the stairs accompanied by a short, high-pitched squeeling. Molly, Arthur, Sirius and Remus all jumped and ran towards the hall to the foot of the stairs.

They all stared in shock as Tonks disentangled herself from her robes and stood while muttering a few choice words. Molly stared in shock at the disheveled form before her. Sirius burst into uncontrollable laughter, barely managing to keep his balance.

Tonks looked puzzled at the shocked look on Molly's face, over to Sirius rolling on the floor, and back to Molly. "Whats so-"

She was cut off by Sirius. "Oi! When you said you had stuff that would make a dragon blush I didn't really believe you." Tonks realized that she had let a few of those 'choice words' slip when she landed. "Oh look, Moony is blushing! What is it Moony dear? Didn't think such ugly words could come from such a pretty little mouth?"

Remus's blush deepened. "Er-Um- are you okay, Tonks?" This was all the reply he could manage at the time being.

"Lets push you down a staircase and see if your okay! Of course I'm not okay!" She turned on Remus like he had said something offensive. "No, really, lets see how you feel after you've hit your head on every step down and then landed on your bloody bum! And you!"She rounded on Sirius, who was laughing so hard he was crying." Lets see if your laughing after I get through with you, you bloody piece of-" Remus clamped his hand over her mouth after glancing at an utterly shocked Arthur Weasley. But not before Molly snapped out of her initial shock.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Remus felt Tonks freeze."You may be a grown woman now, but that DOES NOT mean that you can go around using such perverse language infront of my entire family!" Remus realized now that all four of the red-headed children stood at the top of the landing, gaping at the scene below. Fred turned to George and whispered something in his ear, then the two both looked at Remus and winked. It was only then that both he and Tonks realized that he was still standing behing her with one hand around her middle and another covering her mouth. Remus jerked away.

"Oh! I'm sorry." He said as both he and Tonks blushed. Tonks turned to Molly and Arthur, then to the children and apologized for saying such rude things. Molly called the children into the kitchen and everyone filed after her.

Tonks heard Arthur whisper to Sirius behind her. "I really wish I could see the look on those poor dragon keepers faces at the Sanctuary when Charlie gets that Howler." Sirius chuckled in reply.

**A/N: I Know this chapter isn't all that great, but the original got deleted and this is what Icould remember of it. Of course Its basicly correct, but as we all know, it can never be as good as the original inspiration**

**Please Review!**


	4. Goodnight

**A/N: Ok, obviously ya'll took me serious when i said one review... har har, i'm laughin my ass off!... but seriously, I know that last chapter was kind of a dud, but it had to be done! a lot of this stuff isn't what i wanted, but has to be done to keep it canon. So, once again, PLEASE REVIEW! i know that threatening does nothing unless you have just left them with such a cliffie, their hanging by the skin of their teeth and practically salivating for more... which i have, sadly yet to provide. keep in mind, this is my first fic! it really boosts my self esteem when i dont get reviews ya know!**

Dinner that night was a lively affair. Tonks was re-introduced to the Weasley children-(for she had been introduced to them ages ago as Charlies best friend)- and was introduced to Hermione Granger. Tonks was suprised to hear exactly how much the bright young witch of fifteen had been through along side Harry and Ron. And Ron was no where near shy when it came to telling Tonks about all of their adventures, even though he was frequently set straight by Hermione.

"-And then It swung its club and nearly took Hermione's head off!" Tonks was currently hearing about an incident with a Mountain Troll on Halloween in their first year that had spawned their friendship. "Luckily I was there and right as He was about to smash Harry to bits, I pulled out my wand and Levitated his club from his hands and dropped it on His head!" Ron finished with a smirk.

"Oh Ronald! You are so thick sometimes!"Hermione scowled at his smirk. "Who was it that had to remind you how to cast the _Wingardium Leviosa_ anyway?" The smirk slid off his face and his ears turned pink.

Tonks laughed at the image of an eleven year old Ron trying to Levitate a Mountain Troll's club. Absently, she reached up and felt her hair. _Maybe I does look good in my natural form? _She glanced towards Ginny and Hermione and descided to ask their opinions.

"Hermione, Ginny, what do you think about my hair?" They glanced at her short, bubble-gum pink locks. "Does it look better short and pink, or-" Tonks closed her eyes in concentration and imagined her natural hair and eyes. "-Does this look better?" She opened her eyes to gasps. Ron, the Twins, Hermione, and Ginny were all staring at her in amazement. "What? Charlie never bothered to mention that his best friend was a Metamorphmagus?" Hermione uttered a small 'oh' as a look of realization crossed her face.

"Ooh! I've read about Metamorphmagi! They're really rare!" with a glance the the puzzled faces of the other children she explained, "Metamorphmagi are Wizards or Witches that are born with the ability to change their appearance at will to whatever form they choose." She glanced back at Tonks. "I suppose you use it to your advantage as an Auror to disguise your self as others?"

Tonks smiled and closed her eyes. The room was filled with a collective gasp and as she opened her eyes, she was the exact replica of Ginny. "I havn't heard your voice enough to be able to copy you, but I believe that anyone that didn't know you well would mistake me for you?" Ginny nodded in amazement.

Hermione glanced back to Tonks. "So, Whats your natural form, Tonks?" Tonks Obligingly closed her eyes and, once again, pictured her natural look. She smiled at the open-mouthed expressions of Molly and the Children as they all glanced between Tonks and Sirius. Remus smiled at the looks of amazement and Sirius grinned widely.

Something in the expression of Molly's face clicked. "Andromeda Tonks... Andromeda..." Molly muttered under her breath. "You know, I happened to be in the Drawing Room making a list of the supplies we'll need to clean it out and I came upon an interesting tapestry in one corner." Her gaze shifted to Sirius. "I believe it was your family tree, Sirius, and if I'm correct you had a cousin whose name was blasted off of it. Would that cousin happened to be named Andromeda, by any chance?"

"Yep, thats dear old Mum's doing. Andromeda turned out decent like I did and was, of course, removed." His eyes shifted to Tonks. "She bloody well looks like a Black doesn't she?"

Tonks smiled widely, "I always did! Noone ever came to understand how I ended up looking like you, my dear cousin. My mum only got the eyes! Dear old Auntie Bella got the hair and Aunt Cissy got the eyes as well, though, correct me if I'm wrong, she's the only Black in ages to have blonde hair."

"I will say though, dearest cousin, you and your mother certainly got all the looks of the Black women. I mean, you can tell by dear old mum that its a miracle that my dear cousins look half-way decent, but regardless of how much attention your aunts got, I always thought your Mum was much better looking!" Everyone was shocked that Sirius had said something complementary to anyone other than himself. "And you, my dear, are by far the most beautiful because face it, you look the spitting image of me and I'm sure everyone will agree that I am one sexy beast!"

Remus, who had been taking a drink from his goblet of water presently snorted and began to choke which ended with a puddle of water on the table and down his robes and a scarlet face as the kitched erupted with laughter. As the laughter died down everyone sat back, apparently relaxed. Molly took a sip from her cup of tea and nearly choked as she glanced at a clock sitting over on the counter.

"Oh! look at the time, its up to bed children! We've got to be up bright and early tomorrow morning." Molly stood and began to chivy the children out of the room to much protest.

"But Mum!" Fred groaned.

"It's the middle of the summer!" George argued

"We're supposed to stay up late-"

"-And have a bit of a lie in-"

"-And come in around lunch for some food-"

"-Before going straight back to lazing around-"

"-Or playing games-"

"For the rest of the day."

"For the rest of the day." The Twins intoned.

"Oh tosh! You two will help me clean and thats that!" Molly herded them towards the door before turning back "Arthur, are you coming dear?" Arthur followed her out of the room leaving Tonks, Remus, and Sirius with shocked looks on their faces as everyone else left.

Tonks glanced at Sirius who glanced at Remus who, in turn, glanced at Tonks. They all simultaneously shook their heads and sat in silent contemplation. Sirius spoke up.

"How they tell those two apart is beyond me! I mean, they are identical in appearance as well as voice and they _finish each others sentences!_ I mean, really, how to they not tell them apart?" Remus shook his head as a gesture of 'no idea' and Tonks laughed at the two of them.

"Charlie used to tell me about how sometimes, they swap and then noone _can_ tell them apart. But Charlie told me how to tell if it gets really difficult." The other two started at her intently. " What you do, is fall or something in front of them both and pretend your really hurt. They will both, or course, laugh at first, but George,as I've learned, is a good bit more compasionate that Fred and so if you keep on pretending your actually hurt, he'll stop laughing and see about you."

Remus and Sirius glanced at each other and snorted in disbelief. Remus turned to Tonks. "George compasionate? Tonks, I taught them for a year, remember? I know for a fact, that George was the one that snuck into my office one night and locked Mrs. Norris in my desk drawer and silenced her so that when I opened it the next morning she attacked me!"

Sirius laughed. "Come on mate, They told you just last week that that was their idea of an initiation for you! Their own personal 'We don't hate your guts' prank!" He paused and added as an after thought, "Kinda wish We had thought of that one actually." He chuckled "Though, I doubt ol' Minnie would have taken it as lightly as you did. You old softy, she would have sent us to Dumbledore withought blinking."

Tonks smiled "What'd ya do to them, Remus?"

"Well, after I got past the pain of nearly being ripped to ribbons by that walking carpet, I thought it was funny." He smiled lightly." It reminded me of two other trouble-makers that used to roam the halls of Hogwarts guided by a certain faithful map." He grinned at Sirius.

Sirius started. "So thats how Harry got the Marauders map! I always wondered where he got it!" Sirius smiled as it dawned on him." Hey, Moony, Remember when it got taken up in the first place?" Remus smiled at the memory. "You and James had the bright idea to try and bribe the House Elves to replace all of the toilet paper in the Slytherin loo's with leaves in our seventh year." Tonks grinned at the prospect.

"No mate, that was James. I wanted to bribe them to switch it with Poison Oak, but James thought it would be too suspicious seeing as how the only Poison Oak was near the quiditch pitch and it would point to us, therefore earning us alot more than just detention." Sirius quickly corrected Remus.

"Yeah, I remember now, and when I caught you, instead of being a good Prefect, I had to go and try to atleast make you a solid plan so you wouldn't get expelled." Remus smiled again. " I'll never forget the look on your face when that old House Elf you descided to bribe hit you over the head with a frying pan when you descided to try to bully her into doing it! Oh James and I laughed so hard! Too bad Filch caught us trying to get you back to the Dorms." Sirius squinted trying to remember.

"Hey Remus, what did happen? I don't remember it so well." Remus chuckled.

"Well, James and I had to take off the invisibility cloak and put it and the map in my pocket so that we could drag you back up the staircase. We were on the top step when you suddenly started talking to a suit of armor and then when you tried to snog it, for some reason, it drew back and punched you in the nose! you fell all the way down the staircase, the final staircase before the Fat Lady, and swore with growing decibels on every step you hit." Sirius grinned.

"Oh, and thats when I landed on that poor House Elf that started screaming for Filch! I remember that, he caught us and took the map and cloak. We grabbed the cloak and ran before he could turn back to us, but he kept the map." Sirius smiled and leaned back contentedly. " Good times, Mate, good times."

Tonks smiled gently. "I sure wish I could have met James. He sounds alot like Charlie." The room suddenly got silent and she glanced up. Both Remus and Sirius were staring at their hands in silent thought.

"Well," Tonks stood. "I'm off. See you two later." and with that she vanished.

Remus glanced at Sirius's somber expression and patted him on the shoulder gently. Sirius turned to Remus, the twinkle in his eyes was no longer the one he usually sported, but one of memories long past. "Remus, I miss him so much." He paused trying to read his companions expression. "I know I don't hide it well, but being back here is so depressing. It drags up memories, happy memories. They make me smile but they always lead to 'should haves' and 'if onlys' that just depress me." Sirius tilted his head to one side. "What about you. Do you ever just sit and imagine about what should have been and how different it is from how it is." his voice cracked. "I can't help it. I miss them both. James and Lily."

He swallowed and looked back at Lupin. What he saw concerned him. It was something that rarely was ever seen. Remus looked off into space and smiled wanely as a single, tiny tear rolled down his cheek. Sirius, who had rarely, if ever, seen Remus cry was startled. "I'm sorry, Moony, I shouldn't have-" but he was interupted.

"I miss him, too." Remus's voice was low and strained. "I miss them both." He smiled at Sirius, who smiled back.

Sirius sighed. "They would have been so proud of Harry, Remus, I just know it," Remus chuckled.

"I'm sure they are, Sirius. I know I am. Wherever they are, wherever James and Lily are, I just know that they are proud of him." They both thought of the smiling, gleaming faces of James and Lily and hoped that wherever they were, they knew how much they were missed.

Sirius glanced towards the table and said, in a shakey voice that threatened unwanted tears. "Well James, Wherever you are, I hope you and Lily still think about me and Remus from time to time, cuz we sure think about you two alot." Sirius smiled and Remus smiled back. "Yes, James, Lily, we still love you two just as much as ever, but as much as we love you and wish we could see you again, neither of us are quite ready to join you, so I hope you keep us in you thoughts.

Remus and Sirius rose and started for the door, but stopped and faced the kitchen for reasons unknown to either and whispered. "Goodnight, James, goodnight Lily." and without another glance, Remus opened the door and they both left the dim kitchen.


	5. OH FOR THE LOVE OF COFFEE!

**A/N: Well, regardless of the dismal amount of reviews i've recieved, I will continue writing this fic untill its finished! Even if I don't get any reviews or, for that matter, any reads! I WILL CONTINUE! **

****Several late nights and many Order meeting later, Tonks found herself settled in the drawing room with the only permanent occupants of the house:Sirius and Remus. She had been given her pick of any room in the house that was unnoccupied so that she could clean it up and it be her room should she descide to stay, which she did often. She had chosen a room on the second floor corridor near the end. It was small enough for her to make cozy, but large enough to double as an office for Order business.

"Now, explain to me why, with all the rooms in this house, you two are sharing a room? Your not... you know... involved... are you?" Tonks said with a small wink. A fleeting look of shock passed over both mens faces, but was quickly replaced by glares of suspicion at each other.

"Well," began Sirius with a smirk on his face, "You never know-" He was cut off by Remus.

"SIRIUS!" His face burned scarlett and his voice was an octave higher than usual. "Thats just DISGUSTING!" Suddenly Remus's face changed to that of a half-smirk. "And besides, even if I did fancy blokes, I'd sure as hell pick one thats good-looking."

Sirius spluttered in indignation. "Remus! I am good looking! Just because You and I fancy girls and not each other doesn't mean You have to deny the way I look!" He smiled pompously from his perch in an armchair. "Because we all know that I'm the sexiest in the room. Come on, Moony, even you can't deny that you find me very sexy! You too, Tonks! Cousin or not, you can't deny that you think I'm good-looking."

Remus and Tonks, both of whom were sitting on the couch, turned to each other and burst out laughing. Tonks was the first to fall off of the couch and land on the floor, rolling as well as laughing just as hard. Sirius joined the laughter at the sight of Tonks laying halfway upside down on the floor laughing her butt off, only to laugh double when Remus soom followed. Remus, who had been sitting on the arm of the couch, fell off backwards after Tonks's incident. The room was filled with gales of laughter for the next two or three minutes, during which Tonks somehow migrated to the rug in the middle of the floor where she was joined by a scarlett, but still laughing Remus who fell near her feet.

After the laughter died down, for they had all needed a good laugh, Sirius joined them on the floor and the three of them lay on their backs, side by side, staring at the ceiling, off in their own thoughts.

Between lack of sleep and the warmth of the fire, all of them fell into a doze. Remus was jolted awake by an unfamiliar warmth beside him. He looked down the see that, somehow while all three were asleep on the floor, Sirius had migrated to the edge of the rug and was hugging the leg of a chair like a teddy bear, while Tonks had unconsciously slid herself over to where she was back to back with Remus. Remus smiled at the sleeping forms before him and descided that it would be better if they not awake in the morning with sore backs and stiff necks from sleeping on the floor.

He walked over to Sirius and gently tried to rouse him from his slumber. Sirius groaned, but stood and left after Remus suggested he go to bed. Remus turned to Tonks. She looked so peacefull and calm that he figured it best that she not attempt to Apparate home and since her room was just down the hall, he may as well not wake her. He walked over to the sleeping form and gently slid his arms beneath her knees and shoulder blades. Remus was surprised at how small and fragile she felt as he lifted her small frame with extreme ease for such a thin man.

Remus walked out of the open door, carefull to mind Tonks's head, and carried her down the hallway to her room. Luckily, the door stood cracked, so that he only had to nudge it with her feet to open it wider. He smiled as he stood and glanced around the room. Along the far wall, there was a desk with a lamp shaped like a star. The walls were a deep blue with yellow stars stenciled all over and hanging over the four-poster bead was an Astronomy chart that clearly changed with the movement of the planet.

Tonks stirred in his arms, reminding him that he was still holding her, because she was so small that he barely registered her form in his arms as he stood admiring the room. He crossed lightly to her bed. The lime green pillows and purple quilt made him smile. He lowered her onto the bed, took the liberty of removing her shoes, and proceeded to tuck her into bed. He stood and back out of the room and slowly shut the door.

Remus sighed and turned back and headed into his room. Sirius was sprawled on his bed, seemingly asleep, if it wasn't for the lack of snoring that Remus was accustomed to. He crossed to his bed and climbed into the soft warmth of his sheets. Just as he began to drift off, Sirius's hushed voice interupted his sleep.

"I saw you, you know." Sirius smiled slightly into his pillow.

Remus sighed. "I have no idea what your talking about. Go to sleep, Padfoot." But Sirius wasn't interested in sleep at the moment.

"Right. Moony, I know you too well to believe you and besides, I happened to be standing in this very doorway when you came by. Couldn't bear to wake poor little Tonks up could you?" Sirius turned to Remus's bed and smirked.

It was a good thing it was dark, for Remus could feel the blush spreading across his visage. "I was just being nice, Padfoot. You know as well as I that if I had woken Nymphadora, she would have attempted to Apparate to her home and its never a good idea to try to Apparate half asleep."

Sirius smiled. "So you descided to carry her oh so _tenderly_ to her room and stand in the doorway for five minutes and just hold her and stare at her? Really Moony, what next."

"Padfoot! I did not stand there for five minutes and stare at her, I was simply taking in the room, it really is something. And besides, she's so small it isn't like it was a great feat to pick her up and carry her down the hall into her room." Remus's thoughts began to wonder as he turned his back to Sirius. "She really is something. When she's around, you don't really realize just how petite she is, because her personallity stand out a mile, but when she's asleep... she's so tiny, so... fragile."

Sirius had long drifted to sleep and his snores started to fill the room. Remus smiled and silently remembered the feel of Tonks's small frame in his arms. He was surprised at how truely wonderful a friend she really had become to him. _Its nice to see Sirius smile again, She takes our minds off the negative. _Remus thought. _It's so nice to have friends again. Thats probably what I missed the most after James and Lily died and Sirius went to Azkaban... having friends. People who I could talk to... Sirius seems to enjoy having friends around as well. _

Dawn broke with a pale light shining into Tonk's room, eluminating here pale features. The sudden pecking at the window indicated the arrival of a white and brown owl who delivered the Daily Prophet. Tonks groaned, but slid out of bed and crossed to the window and took her paper, giving the owl a Knut in return. She chucked the paper onto the desk and started back to bed. She had made it halfway across the room when suddenly she realized where she was. She was shocked to realize that she, somehow, had ended up in her room at Grimmauld place instead of her bedroom at her flat in London. She vaguely remembered laying on the rug in the drawing room, but nothing more.

She shrugged as she headed out of the door and towards the stairs. She tiptoed down the hallway when she realized that, by the sound of snores and deep breathing comming from everywhere, that she was the only one up. She took the stairs slowly and carefully, so that she didn't fall all the way to the bottem and wake the entire vacinity. After reaching the hallway withought falling once, she prayed silently while she made her way toward the stairs to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath at the top of the steps, she began her slow descent to the door, which she opened with confidence. After managing to make it all the way to the kitchen withought falling once, she was too overcome with confidence to notice anything else as she strutted into the kitchen. Little did she know, that her arrogance was to be short lived.

Only one step into the kitchen and her feet slid on a stray dungbomb on thefloor. She closed her eyes and waited for the eminent arrival of the floor against her face but it didn't come. Instead, Tonks was caught by a pair of surprisingly strong arms. She opened her eyes in puzzlement only to come face to face with Remus Lupin.

"OH! Remus you scared me! oh, where are my manners, thank you for catching me." She smiled. "But honestly, I didn't even realize the kitchen was previously occupied."

Remus grinned mischievously. "Well, seeing as you were strutting like an over arrogant peacock, its not surprising." His comment was met by a smack to the arm.

"I DO NOT STRUT! Remus Lupin take that back!"

Remus just shot her a cheeky grin and returned to his seat. "Sorry to inform you, but its five in the morning so Molly has yet to rise and make any tea." He sat back and sipped his coffee contentedly. He prided himself as being possibly the only person in England that drank coffee instead of tea.

"Well, then its probably a good thing i'm not looking for tea isn't it?" Tonks said with a grin

Remus's face showed extreme puzzlement as he sat down his mug and crossed his arms. "Then what, precisely, are you, the Queen of Laziness, doing here this early?"

Tonks smiled mischieviously and instead of answering reached across the table and stole Remus's coffee. Remus jumped and sat up quickly.

"HEY! What are you doing? Oh no you d-" Tonks had turned up his mug and taken a long drink of his beloved black coffee. "Stop it!" Remus's voice came out sounding like a whiney squeal. He reached across the table and made to grab his cup, but Tonks, anticipating this, jumped and began to taunt him. "NOT FUNNY!" He yelled, " I NEED my coffee in the morning! GIVE IT BACK!"

Tonks leapt to her feet and smiled cheekily. "Come get it, Oh Mighty Coffee Drinker. Your not the only one who needs their coffee in the morning!" Tonks began to skip back and forth along the table. Remus, who had sat opposite her, leapt to his feet as well, thus beginning a game of cat and mouse. Each time Tonks moved one way, he move the same direction. After several minutes, and much coffee drank by Tonks and splashed on the floor. Remus gave this up and leapt onto the table and stood there with his arms crossed. He glared down at Tonks's smiling, coffee soaked form.

"I'm going to count to three and I want my coffee back!" He held up a hand showing fingers. "One,"he lifted a finger, "Two," another finger up, "Three!" He jumped down from the table and landed right beside Tonks.

Tonks squealed slightly and took off running around the table and all over the kitchen, still holding Remus's nearly empty coffee mug. Both were laughing playfully and occasionally yelling things while Tonks ran from Remus, who almost caught her on many occasions.

Upstairs, everyone was beginning to be awoke by the laughter and screams from the kitchen below. One by one, the Weasley children, along with Hermione and Molly started down stairs. Once they got to the stairs that led to the Kitchen, they were shocked to see Sirius standing grinning widely and watching through the cracked kitchen door. Molly startled Sirius away from whatever spectacle he was watching.

"Sirius!" Molly hissed. "What on earth is going on in there?"

Sirius turned to them and smiled. "It's great Molly! I woke up when Remus left to go get some of that horrible coffee that he loves so bloody much"Here Molly uttered 'watch your language!' "and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I figured I'd join him. Only when I got here, I heard voices, so I descided to check it out first, and.." He paused and turned back to Molly. ".. I got here just in time to see Remus climb up on the table, threaten Tonks who has apparently stolen his mug right from his hands and began drinking his precious coffee, and then He jumped down and has been chasing her around for a while, I never knew Tonks could be so quick and run around dodging stuff withought falling or knocking something over once! I suspect its that crazy coffee they both seem to like." Everyone started as a scream erupted right behind the door and the door banged open.

Everyone froze. Only Sirius and the Twins burst out laughing at the sight that met them. Apparantly, Remus had caught Tonks and lifted her from behind and she had screamed and kicked the door open in an attempt to escape. They both turned red and suddenly seemed to realize exactly how they were standing, for Remus dropped Tonks who barely managed to land on her feet.

Tonks blushed and attempted to smile. "Wotcher guys."was the feable attempt at a greeting she managed. Remus just stared scarlett faced, but began to snigger slightly at the sight before him.

Molly Weasley and Hermione Granger shared matching shocked expressions, Ron, Arthur and Ginny were struggling to stiffle their laughter and both were a brilliant shade of pink from the effort, the exact opposites of Sirius and the Twins. The three of them were rolling around on the floor laughing their heads off. Molly finally broke the silence.

"Well, since everyone is up, I guess I'll make breakfast." She walked over to the stove. Ron, Arthur, and Ginny went over and sat at the table leaving Tonks and Remus still embarrased standing staring at Sirius and the Twins as they tried in vane to get up from the floor withought falling over each other. Remus and Tonks finally took pity and helped them up. Remus grabbed Sirius and Fred by the scruff of their robes and lifted them, while Tonks coaxed George over to the table.

After the laughing had worn down, Sirius, who sat opposite of Remus and Tonks asked the question all had been dieing to know. "So, what did happen in here?" Sirius smirked.

Remus indignantly replied, "She took my coffee!" Everyone started laughing again. "No, I'm serious!" He turned to Sirius, "You know how I get withought my coffee! I need it!" Sirus let out a bark of laughter.

"Ok, first off, your not Sirius, I'm Sirius." Everyone groaned at the bad pun. "And secondly, don't you feel good knowing your not the only wierdo that drinks coffee instead of tea?"

Tonks choked on her own mug of coffee she had just conjured. "HEY!" She spluttered "I AM NOT WIERD!" which earned her a skeptical look from Sirius.

Halfway through eating a delicious breakfast of toast, eggs, and kippers, Tonks suddenly remembered something. "By the way, does anyone know how I got to my room last night?" Everyone around the table glanced back and forth and shook their heads. Everyone except for Remus and Sirius. Tonks noticed this and eyed them in suspicion. Remus was blushing and had suddenly become interested with his eggs and Sirius was grinning slyly at Remus. "Ok, what do you two know?" Tonks directed at Sirius and Remus.

Remus choked on his eggs and Sirius feigned innocence. "I have absolutely no idea what you mean. All I remember was falling asleep on the rug in the drawing room with you and Remus. Maybe you should ask him." He smiled slightly.

Tonks turned to Remus. "Remus, my friend, did Sirius do anything I will have to kill him over? Are you covering for him?" Remus's eyes snapped up.

"Of course not! We all fell asleep on the rug. Later something woke me up and I saw that we were all sleeping on the floor and thought it wouldn't be a good idea to leave you two there." Sirius took over for him.

"Yes, so he oh so rudely woke me up and told me to go to bed. Then he took you to your room and dropped you like you were a sack of potatos."

Remus spluttered in indignation. "I did NOT drop her! She would have woken up if I had dropped her! And besides, She's light enough for me to carry, so I saw no reason to wake her up if I didn't have to!

Sirius sat back and crossed his arms. "Oh, but you just had to wake me up?"

"Well," Remus smirked, "Molly's cooking seems to be getting to you, my dear friend, so carrying you was out of the question." Then his features changed to that of disgust "And besides, carrying your friends who are girls isn't wierd."Remus paused. "And mate, I like you well enough, but it's just not very manly to carry your best friend like that."

The entire table erupted in laughter, except for Sirius whose face held a look of indignation. "And besides, "Remus continued. "It was wierd enough when you asked me if I thought you were sexy last night." The laughter multiplied but Sirius just mock-grimmaced.

"Remus, I'm afraid that this means war... Marauder Style!" Remus nodded in agreement.

"Alright, Marauder Style it is, but remember Sirius, I was the one who thought up everything... you just followed my directions!" Sirius blanched for a moment then glanced down the table and turned back to Remus with a cheeky expression.

"So, Marauder rules, anything goes?" He asked Remus.

Remus smiled, "Anything goes."

Tonks had noticed that the Arthur and Molly had started washing up and Ginny was playing with Crookshanks, but Fred, George, Ron and Hermione were all staring at Sirius and Remus with shocked expressions. She thought this odd until Fred spoke up.

"Did you two just say Marauder Style?"Remus and Sirius exchanged puzzled glances until Sirius spoke up.

"Yes, why?"

The Twins shared a cautious look. "As in... THE Marauders? The only group of pranksters to ever get more detentions than Lee, George, and Me? The only ones who have ever exceeded our elaborance when it came to pranks!" Fred asked with a manic gleam in his eyes.

It suddenly dawned on Remus. "Ah!" Sirius shot him a confused glance. Remus turned to the Twins. "You two have obviously been talking to Filch way to much and to Harry way too little."

Hermione spoke up. "The first part you got right, they spend more time in Filch's office than anyone else. But they aren't the only ones confused and Ron and I have been around Harry for the past four and a half years and are just as confused as they are." Ron started.

"Yeah, We've heard of these 'Marauders' too. " A glare from Hermione helped him realize his mistake. "But it's not like we were using anything they may have created! Hypothetically of course." Hermione smacked herself in the forehead with her hand in exasperation.

"Nice going Ronald!"

Sirius and Remus grinned. Remus suddenly realized something "So Harry told you nothing about the creators of the Marauders Map?"

Sirius turned to Remus. "Harry has the Map? I thought Filch had it?" Remus smiled

"I believe that the Twins might be able to explain how it came into Harry's posession." The Twins glanced furatively at their parents. After comfirming that they were still oblivious to the conversation at the table they grinned at Sirius and Remus.

"Yeah, we got it from Filch in our first year." Fred started

"We owe our thanks to Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs! Withought that map, we would have never have achieved half of our.. let just say mischievious deeds." George smiled at Fred, who reciprocated his gesture. Suddenly George turned back.

"Hang on! How did you know Harry had it and how did you know that we got it from Filch's office?" Sirius descided to answer the second and Remus the first parts of the questions.

"Well," Remus started, "I confiscated it from Harry while I was teaching. But I gave it back!" He said hurridly at the Twin's expressions. Sirius took over.

"And we know it was in Filch's office because we know for a fact that it was taken up late one night about fifteen years ago!"

Hermione, who had long figured out what was going on, looked profoundly shocked. "Professor Lupin!"

"How many times must I ask you all to call me Remus! I havn't been a teacher for years!" Remus started, but stopped at the rather scary look that was on the girls face.

"I would have expected it from Sirius, but you became a teacher! And, no offence, but your a bookworm! And , most of all, I remember you mentioning that you were a PREFECT!" Tonks laughed at Sirius and Remus, both of whom had started to cower slightly.

Sirius turned to Remus and said in a mock whisper, "Do you think we should check and make sure McGonagall hasn't died? Because Hermione sure has the look down a little too well." Tonks sniggered along with the two men, but stopped immediately when the caught the warning glances from Ron and the Twins. Remus straightened up.

"Yes, Hermione, sorry to dissapoint you, but I was a terrible Prefect wasn't I?"

Hermione turned to see the still puzzled looks on the boys' faces and descided to elaborate. "Fred, George let me introduce you to your mentors, "the indicated Remus and Sirius, " Messrs. Moony and Padfoot."

The boys looked utterly shocked, but gleeful. Sirius turned to Hermione with admiration. "How did you guess! I mean I know you aren't to thick to realize we were talking about our selves as Marauders, but how did you get our names?" Remus sighed and looked at Sirius.

"Mate, I keep telling you, Hermione here is possibly twice as smart and clever as I am! She's still about a month from being sixteen and she's smarter than ME!" Sirius looked at Hermione with a fearful expression and slid behind Remus slightly.

"Are you sure thats possible mate?" Hermione shot him a look and he shut up.

Tonks laughed. "Hermione, You are possible the only person who has ever scared Sirius!"

Fred cleared his throat. "The rest of us of average or.. possibly below average brain capacity are still fairly puzzled, care to elaborate?"

Hermione turned and started to explain. "Profess- I mean..Remus.. here is Moony. I figured that because he is a were-wolf they nicknamed him Moony. Sirius is Padfoot because his animagus form is a dog." Remus and Sirius smiled to tell her she was correct so far. "So that leaves Wormtail and Prongs. Well, we all know that Harry's Patronus is a Stag, and seeing as we all also know that Pettigrew is a Rat in Animagus form which implies that he is Wormtail, that leaves the only option that Harry's father was Prongs... and guessing that you were all Animagi, with the exception of Prof- Remus, that implies that his Animagus was a Stag." Hermione concluded like it was the simplist thing in the world.

Remus smiled. "Correct as always Hermione!" Sirius, as well as the boys, were stareing at her like she was a muggle Telly. "And obviously, you have impressed everyone else too."

Fred and George smiled."So, um, This does mean the noone ever tells Mum that we happened to use an enchanted map to sneak around after hours, right?"

"Because it really would be a shame to see what she does to the makers of said enchanted object."

Remus and Sirius shared a terrified glance.

**A/N: I have just realized, that i have had 859 hits, but only 3 reviews! does it really take that long to click the button and type 'cool' or 'that sux' or something? THATS ALL I ASK! **

**This chapter started off as 2 chapters, but I like longer chapters, and this one is still not all that long. I like my chapters really long! I read a fic once which had a chapter that, on microsoft word, was over 20 pages long! My longest one yet is only 7 pages on wordpad!**


	6. Enter Weasley Children

**A/N: Thanks to anyone who reviewed. I know I put chapters up really fast, but thats because I have nothing better than to write and read and seeing as how all of the books i start reading interupt my writing, I spend my time writing. So I'm up to writing a chapter almost every day, and i post them as soon as i get finished. So you can expect atleast one or two more this week, but then i'm leaving on a trip and it will be a while.**

Sirius glanced around the bedroom. He was trying to think up his first plan of action for his and Remus's 'Marauders War'. He was beginning to worry. What Remus said was true, all of the good pranks the Marauders had done was formulated by Remus and carried out by the others, so Sirius had no idea where to start.

The room was clearly split down the middle. On one side was old quiditch team posters on the wall and a green comforter, signifying the Irish team, on the single bed. The floor was littered with robes, socks, underware and many things that were burried too well to be identifyed. This was obviously Sirius's side. Remus's side, however, had a rather tidy double bed with deep crimson sheets neatly made up. The floor was devoid of clutter, except for the occasional book. Against the wall, was a book-case with several old, battered, but clearly precious tomes.

Sirius was just thinking about starting off simple and disaranging Remus's preciously organized book-case when he heard two identicle voices snickering as they passed down the hall. Sirius, hit by a sudden idea, jumped from the bed, ran to the door, and snatched it open. He reached out just in time to grab two collars and jerk their occupants into the room. Shutting the door with a snap, he turned to face the Twins with a mad gleam in his eye that made the two huddle together slightly.

"Oy!" Fred bellowed, "Whats the big idea? You nearly jerked our heads off!" George nodded in agreement.

"Don't get you knickers in a twist! I wanted to ask you something... prankster to prankster?" The eyes Sirius suspiciously but nodded." Great! Now, who plans your pranks? I'm in the market for assistance in the planning and carrying out of my pranks."

The Twins shared identical grins that portrayed slight evil-ness."Well, you just happen to be looking at the expert planners! The only reason that you Marauders are still the undesputed title holders of the largest number of detentions is because we, my dear friend, are smarter!" Fred looked uncertainly at his brother, who added, "Plus, it helps to be identical because one can be setting up while the other provides an Alibi and when they go to check it out we simply use our knowledge of secret passages to head them off and pretend to be the other... really helpful it is."

Sirius was getting fed up with their stalling. "Just help me! Moony is smarter than all of us combined and will outprank me any day! I need your assistance to plan some good pranks. Help me please?"

Fred and George turned away and confered hurridly and turned back. George spoke up. "Ok, deal. But theres one term."

Fred took over. "We have to be able to use whatever tactics are necessary and not get in trouble for anything! Anyone asks, you planned and executed everything alone, we had no prior knowledge of your actions. Got it?"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "Perfect!" The three shook hands. "Now, where to begin?"

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Remus was sitting in the drawing room with his back to the door. The floor in front of him was littered with balled up pieced of parchment as he planned out his first prank. It wasn't going so well. He had plenty of ideas, but the problem was, he had always planned pranks with atleast two participants, it was hard to carry out a plan of action alone. _What I need,_ He thought, _Is an accomplice. Someone who can help me set up and spy on the opposition._ At that moment, Tonks walked through the door. The sight that she met was quite strange.

Remus, startled by the door opening, had thrown himself on top of his scattered parchment pieces. "Oh Tonks, its only you." He was struck by a sudden thought. "Tonks, er, would you perhaps be interested in spying on Sirius for me? Nothing to cloak and dagger, just ask around about him. Check up on who he's been talking to, that sort of stuff?"

Tonks looked at him like he was mad. "Remus... there are only eight people staying here now, nine counting myself. What am I going to do?"

"Well, you could start by pretending to be neutral... or even better!" His face lit up with a sly grin. "You can pretend to be spying on me for Sirius, get him to tell you everything,and then report back to me!"

Tonks looked startled. "Slow down, maniac! How about I just ask around and see who's been talking to him? They might be able to tell me something more and I'll report back to you."

Remus smiled,"Great! Its almost dinner time now, Molly will call us any minute. Sit near the children and ask them. I'm sure if anyone knows about whats going on it will be Hermione." Tonks nodded and began to leave the room. "Wait! One more thing... don't tell Molly!"

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Dinner that night was an unusual affair. Tonks sat beside Hermione and across from Fred and George. Remus sat beside Sirius as always, but both of them seemed reluctant to look at each other and seemed suspicious of anything the other had come near. Tonks turned to the children.

"So, anyone have any idea what those two are planning?" George coughed into his drink when he heard it. Tonks glanced up and lowered her voice. "Oh, so you two are in on it!" They eyed each other carefully then turned back to her.

"Tonks, do you promise not to tell either of them what we say to you?"

Tonks glanced down the table and turned back. "I swear on my pet hamster, Fluffy."

Fred and George managed to inform her that they were helping Sirius plan his pranks, but got no further because Molly announced that it was time for the children to go to bed. Under the camoflage of everyones groans, Ginny muttered to Tonks. " I guess I'll have to help Professor Lupin then." As they all started up the stairs, Tonks motioned for Remus to go to her room, as the other adults were intering the drawing room. Tonks turned and ran up another flight of stairs to Ginny's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Ginny! It's Tonks, let me in. I need to ask you something." The door opened and Ginny motioned her in. As Ginny closed the door behind her, Tonks turned to face her. " Did you mean what you said about helping Remus? Because I have it on good authority that Remus is having trouble carrying out his plans alone."

Ginny grinned."Well, I grew up with Fred and George so I know my fair share on the art of pranking. Now, I'm not as good at the Twins and Sirius, but i'd bet that if you, me and Professor Lupin work hard enough, we might be able to do some damage."

Tonks smiled gleefully." Great, I'll contact you tomorrow with news."

As Tonks made her way to her room, she had to admit, it felt good to do something childish again. She often wondered if she would ever truely grow up, because she sure felt like a child at heart. As she crept past the door to Sirus and Remus's room she thought she heard the hushed voices of the Twins in the room. She opened her door , entered swiftly, and closed it behind her.

Remus spoke up. "Ok, whats up?" She turned to face him and sighed theatrically.

"I did as you suggested and learned a rather disturbing piece of news." She paused for dramatic effect. "Sirius has employed the help of Fred and George." She lowered her head in mock defeat.

"Thats not funny! Like I've said, I taught them! I know what they are capable of and lets just say... I'm no match for the three of them! Even with your help, I don't know how they work so I can't find a way to counter them."

Tonks cut in. "I have an answer." He looked up and payed rapt attention. "I went upstairs just now and had a conversation with none other than Ginny. She suggested that she can help you plan and carry out your pranks and perhaps, tell you what to expect from Sirius and the Twins."

Remus's smile slowly widened. "This is going to be one eventful week."

**A/N: Alrighty, I've got the first prank planned out and i'm pretty sure that I can plan the rest, but I thougth it would be kewl to let ya'll give me some ideas on pranks! So just tell me who's the one pranking and what its about! or to be mysterious, just mention the elements of the prank and I can choose who does what!**

**Oh, I'm sorry its so short! But it's all that went with this chapter. The next one will probably be longer!**


	7. Too Sexy!

**A/N: Ok, sorry i was gone so long! i was on a 4 day trip and i havn't wrote anything since. I hope this is longer than the last, but if not, oh well.**

Sirius and the Twins were sitting in an abandoned closet for the greater part of the night. They were trying to plan the first attack. The idea, was to attack first, and show that they mean't business... so far it was a loosing battle.

"So, for the one-billionth time, we are NOT going to put a Filibuster in the bathtub! Besides the fact that thats utterly lame, its not a smart idea. We need to think of something that will start it off with a roaring peal of laughter from everyone." Sirius barked in exhausted anger.

George looked up indignantly, "Well excuse me, Mr. I'm-The-Prank-Master! If your above our plans, then we could always leave you alone to plan yourself." Sirius shut his mouth.

Fred cut in. "Good. Because we have an idea."

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Remus slept rather peacefully, knowing that he had atleast one Weasley on his side. Between Tonks, Ginny, and himself, he felt the odds were somewhat more even. In the morning, we awoke before Sirius, as normal, and descided to go get himself a cup of coffee. While Sirius was asleep, he knew that he was safe from pranks, So rising early was a tradition for him.

As he walked down the stairs to the kitchen he heard movement on the other side. He slowed cautiously, just incase he had been mistaken to feel safe. He carefully opened the kitchen door and glanced in quickly.

"Oh Remus, glad to see I'm not the only one up." Molly smiled down from the chair she was standing in. "I just had to finish hanging this mirror before someone else came along and descided to get it dirty again." She some-what gracefully stepped down from the chair and admired her work. "It does make the kitchen look a bit livlier doesn't it?"

"Wonderfully cheerful ,Molly. It opens up the room." Remus smiled and busied himself with the muggle coffee maker he insisted be kept in the kitchen.

Moments later the kitchen was filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. The smell must have permeated the entire house, because moments later the kitchen door burst open and an entirely exhausted Tonks exlaimed loudly. "I. Need. COFFEE!" She spotted the coffee pot and proceeded to pour herself a large mug full of the steaming liquid. Molly went to wake the children and her husband.

"So, any idea how we should strike first?" Remus presented the question to Tonks, who was barely listening. When she didn't respond, he began planning.

"Well, first off, lets get some breakfast and then we can get together in that abandoned closet upstairs and-" Tonks choked on her coffee and spluttered into her cup.

"We'll do WHAT!" Tonks stared wildly at Remus, who meerly looked puzzled and repeated.

"I said, that we, that is, Me, You, and Ginny, can get together in that closet upstairs and plan where we won't be overheard. Are you Okay?" Tonks had turned a deep shade of scarlet.

"Oh, yes! I'm perfectly fine."

The kitchen door opened and in walked the Weasleys and Sirius, all of which who took seats around the kitchen table. Moments later, Molly walked by and started setting food on the table. As she walked behind Lupin's chair, noone noticed Fred mutter a tiny spell beneath his breath.

Suddenly, the entire containger of syrup fell off of Molly's tray and upended itself on Remus's head. Remus, startled, leapt out of his chair in surprise.

Molly paled. "OH! Remus,dear, I'm soo sorry! I don't know what happened!" Remus silenced her with a wave of a hand.

"Its fine, Molly. Just a bit of syrup." He turned and left to go clean up.

Breakfast continued uninterupted for the next few minutes. Tonks glanced at Sirius just in time to see him point his wand at the wall and say an incantation. Before she could react, the sound of a door opening came from the mirror above the mantel. Everyones attention imediately went to the mirror and the sight that met them was not the reflection of the room.

The mirror showed Remus Lupin locking the door of what presumably, was the upstairs bathroom. He glanced straight out of the mirror when Tonks realized what was going on. Sirius had bewitched the mirror in the bathroom to not only reflect to the person looking, but also show the reflection in the mirror above the mantel. Her musings were cut off by the sound of someone turning on a shower. They were still watching the mirror with rapt attention when they scene suddenly got a little to much for a viewing audience.

Unaware that he was being watched, Remus proceeded to pull his shirt over his syrup-covered head. By this time Sirius, the Twins, were snorting with laughter and even Ron was fighting to hold back his laughter. Hermione and Ginny both looked like they would be scarred for life seeing their former teacher's naked upper half. Molly and Arthur looked indignant, but Tonks was glad she was the closest to the mantel so that noone could see the blush creeping across her face. As Remus dropped his shirt to the floor, he stretched his arms skyward, showing off his rippling abs and chest. She would have never expected the pale, seemingly frail man to have such a great body.

He reached over to test the stream of water in the shower. Suddenly,everyone was very glad that the bathroom mirror was sat as high as it was, because the could hear at belt being undone and clothes falling to the floor. The figure of Remus proceeded to disapear to the left, presumably into the shower for the sounds of the stream of water were different.

By now Sirius and the Twins were crying, the were laughing so hard, Ron had lost his battle to his laughter, Arthur looked slightly amused, and Molly had joined Hermione and Ginny in being frozen in shock. Tonks was scarlett, but couldn't but help be slightly dissapointed that the view wasn't nearly as good as before.

Suddenly, the sound of the running water was accompanied by another sound thathad everyone except Molly and Hermione rolling in laughter.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts.-" Everyone was laughing so hard that the food was forgotten and the room was filled with roars of laughter.

The sound of water stopped and the now soaking wet and still naked upper half of Remus Lupin was dancing around infront of the mirror with a towel. "-Too sexy for my body, the way I'm disco dancing-"

ven tho everyone was laughing, everyone stopped when they realized the kitchen door stood open and a wide eyed and scarlett faced Remus stood there lookingat himself in the mirror over the mantel.

Sirius looked around and unintentionally exclaimed, "Damn! there was a delay!" Everyone looked at Remus who was frozen watching his naked reflection disco dancing with a towel.

He turned an even deeper scarlett but turned to Sirius and said with an even, slightly amused sounding voice. "You just wait." And with a sparkle in his eye, he turned to the rest of the kitchen who suddenly went back to their breakfast.

**A/N: Ok, again, really short chapter, but thats all I have time to write for now, Hopefully a longer chapter soon. Again, I want atleast 3 reviews before i update again. If I dont get atleast 3 i'm not going to update for a few weeks. And seeing as i've had 1430 hits and i accept anonymous reviews, i expect some reviews!**


	8. Bum Paralysis

**A/N: YAY! I have had more reviews for this chapter than any other! YAY! Thanx to neone who reviewed! I still need help with some more pranks btw.**

Remus, Tonks, and Ginny sat in Tonks's room trying to think of a good prank to pull on Sirius. Ginny and Tonks wanted to get him too. Ginny had claimed that she was scarred for life, which had earned a scowl mixed with a blush from Remus. So far, however, all they had done was think of what not to do.

Finally after a half hour of bickering, Remus made a decision. "I think this calls for a reconnaissance mission. It's Marauder rule that you prank in turns, so they can only plan untill we strike. Ginny, no one knows your in on either side do they?" When she nodded, he proceeded. "Great, so you can try to listen in on the twins." She nodded and he turned to Tonks. "Tonks, you can keep an eye on Sirius. See if you can find something useful." Everyone had started to leave when Ginny suddenly got an idea.

"Wait! Could you two occupy the Twins for about twenty minutes? Just keep them in the kitchen or in the drawing room."

Tonks looked at her. "Why?"

Ginny replied, "You'll see." And they all left the room.

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In the kitchen, Fred was searching through the cabinets for anything useful. He had descided that he and George should split up and search through some rooms for useful things to their joke products. He had chosen the Kitchen and George the study. Fred had just searched the a bottem cabinet when he heard someone coming down the stairs to the kitchen. He straightened up quickly and grabbed a mug. He turned quickly as the door opened and Tonks walked in. Fred breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey Tonks." She returned the greeting and walked over to him."So Tonks, what did you thing about that pranks w- er, Sirius pulled on Lupin?"

If Tonks had noticed his near-slip, she didn't show it. "I thought it was hilarious! I do wonder how he thought up such a prank! I'll be glad to see his next one!" Frank sighed inwardly, they were having trouble thinking of another one. Tonks interupted his musings. "I'm actually rather anxious to see how Remus retaliates. I wonder how he's going to pull a prank all alone. I mean, Sirius is used to pulling pranks from his school days, but poor Remus just planned them, never carried them out." Fred noticed that she seemed to know alot about Remus and Sirius, but he couldn't think on it long because she waved her wand and said. "Lets play a game!"

And there they sat, she was teaching him to play muggle Spades, when George walked in. He spotted them instantly and joined them. "Lupin found me and for some odd reason thought i'd be interested in a book on the history of the jelly bean." Tonks rolled her eyes at Remus's stupidity. "I think he was hoping I would tell him what Sirius's planning." Fred glared at his twin.

Tonks raised an eyebrow. " _Do_ you know what Sirius is planning?"

George realized his slip and shook his head vigerously. "Of course not! I mean, why would I?" George flushed and suddenly jumped up. "I'm going up to get something from our room." he turned to Fred. "Care to join me?" Fred took the hint and rose.

Tonks glanced frantically at her watch. It had only been fifteen minutes! She had to stall them. They were at the door when the idea hit her.

" AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Tonks screamed a loud high-pitched scream and theatrically slumped to the ground, hitting her knee in the process. "DAMMIT!" she swore loudly before she could help herself.

The Twins took the bait. They both turned to see what was wrong,and upon seeing Tonks on the floor rushed over. At the same time the kitchen door flung open and Remus entered. He rushed over.

"Tonks,are you alright?" he looked at her.

She motioned for him to lean down so that the Twins wouldn't hear. "Damn, your timing is amazing! Make an excuse and go to warn Ginny that the Twins are going to their room. I have no idea why she wanted us to keep them here, but my guess is that she might be in their room."

Remus stood up and mumbled something and left. Tonks had to stall the boys for a few minutes more. She looked at their puzzled faces and realized that she had to do something quickly before they realized she was okay and left.

"Oh, boys!-" She hurridly tried to think of what to say. "I can't feel my-erm- bum! I can't feel my bum." They started to snigger and she could have smacked herself at her stupidity. "Could you help me up?" They grabbed her arms and hauled her up.

The Twins kept sniggering until Tonk's finally said. "Oh get a grip, I lied, I just didn't want to admit that I-erm- tripped. Er, yeah, I tripped and didn't want to admit it."

Fred and George shrugged and started to leave. Tonks leapt to her feet and followed, hoping and praying that Remus had gotten Ginny out in time. As they made their way towards the second floor, Tonks realized that she didn't have a vallid reason to go to the third with them. So she called out the first thing that popped into her head.

"Have you boys seen Ginny? I want to show her some of my stuff." Tonks lied. "Could you two help me find her?"

The boys reluctantly followed her into the drawing room and when she wasn't there, to the study. They continued down the hall and kept glancing into all of the empty rooms. She looked at her watch, it had been nearly five minutes! She had just sighed rather exasperatedly when Remus and Ginny walked in.

"OH! Ginny, Remus, I wanted to-er-show you some of my stuff...in my room." She added for emphasis. The took the hint and they three of them turned to leave, but were stopped by the Twins who called out.

"Tonks!" They all turned. "I hope your Bum Paralysis doesn't come back." Fred sniggered at his twin's remark. Lupin and Ginny shot strange looks at Tonks who motioned for them to go ahead and leave. She followed close behind.

When they got up to Tonks's room and had the door firmly closed and locked and, at Ginny's insistance, Imperturbed, Tonks turned to the others and flopped down on her bed. "Sorry about that!" She looked up guiltily. "I told them that I was looking for you, Ginny, so I could show you some of my stuff."

Ginny looked up thoughtfully. "What kind of stuff?"

"Disguises. Thats the first thing that popped into my head, but I didn't elaborate for them. But really, I can change my physical features, but I've learned its better to actually have the disguises than to transfigure your clothes your wearing." Ginny and Remus looked interested, so Tonks cut them off. "Anyways, what did you do while I made a fool of myself in front of those two!"

"Well," Ginny started. "I know where their stash of joke products is so i descided to take a few samples." Ginny stood and emptied her pockets onto the bed beside Tonks. Remus was impressed for in this pile there were three extendable ears, a box of Ton-Tongue Toffees, some unidentifiable green candies, a vial of sinister looking brown liquid, about a dozen of what looked like Filibusters Fireworks with different wrappings, a few other things that weren't recognized, and last but not least, a box that bore the label

**_Thought Bubble Bites! _**

**Fool your friends into eating a few, and instantly see their thoughts!**

Good for one hour

"This is great!" Tonks exclaimed as she snatched up the box of Thought Bubble Bites. "We could slip this into his food and we'd all bear witness to what really goes on inside his head!"

Ginny took the box and read the back completely. She grinned after she finished. "Thats not even the best part!" Her grin widened. "It pops up directly above his head, so he can't see it and it doesn't reflect in mirrors! He'll never know what were laughing about!"

So, the three of them spent the rest of the afternoon planning on how to slip it to him. They were so busy they didn't even notice what time it was untill Molly's magically magnifyed voice rang through the house. "GINERVA WEASLEY! GET DOWN HERE FOR DINNER IMEDIATELY!"

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Sirius had just taken a rather large bite of beef stew when he noticed everyone staring at him. He glanced toward the Twins only to see them with mixed expressions. He glanced down the table towards the other adults only to see them staring as well. _What the hell is going on?_ He wondered and was shocked to see everyone glance above his head instead of at him.

Tonks turned to Remus and grinned. Above the head of Sirius was an oval filled with lime green letters that displayed his thoughts. "So Sirius," Remus was clearly going to have himself some fun. "What do you think of Tonks's hair tonight?" Tonks had descided to go with lime green curls that came to her shoulders.

Sirius glanced at her. "They look like snakes comming out of her head." Sirius said, but his thought said otherwise, for above his head,those glowing green letters bore the words, **I wish I could do that! It's so cool!**

Tonks sniggered. Soon Ginny caught on and descided to take a go."Sirius, what do you make of Ron and Hermione disappearing all the time without a trace?" She was going to get Sirius, as well as crack at the completly oblivious couple.

"I already know what they do, Ginny, because I've seen them stuck in that horrid library all bloody day! Hermione is making Ron help her study up on stuff even though its still _summer_!" He emphasised the last part. But as always, his thought bubble had to show what he thought, but didn't dare to say for fear of Hermione's, or maybe even Molly's if she heard him say it, wrath. **They really need to just get a clue and snog already! **

Tonks choked on her food, George spewed Butter Beer on Fred, and Ginny collapsed into giggles. Remus meerly smiled while Arthur, surprisingly, nodded! But Molly looked at Sirius like he'd been using foul language.

Sirius noticed this and the thought bubble showed up again. **If looks could kill, I'd have been murdered, brought back, beaten to death with a set of Snapes undies, brought back again and then cursed into pieces by Molly.**

Everyone burst out laughing again, excluding Sirius again, who was still completely lost as to what was so funny. This continued for another half hour before Fred and George, after being threatened by Sirius, told him what was happening. He glared at everyone and stood from the table. With a glance of pure hatred to Remus,Sirius turned and stomped up to their room.

**A/N: OK, i know, that was ass-numbingly boring and nowhere near as clever as the first prank, but i'm running out of ideas! I've got the next prank Remus, Tonks and Ginny pull, but I can't have that one withought first getting Sirius's prank overwith! SO, PLEASE HELP! I need ideas for what Sirius and the Twins should have in store for poor Remus! I'll give special mention to the person who suggests it!**

**PLEASE! because i can't update withought an idea!**


	9. Kiss Me'

**A/N: OK, i've thought long and hard and have descided that there will be a few more pranks before it gets back to the story line... because i'm really getting tired of these pranks!**

Sirius was fuming. The Twins were trying to help him think of something embarrassing enough to make up for what he had just endured. He had been pacing for a while not really listening to the Twins spewing out ideas.

"No, that wouldn't work." Fred sighed in frustration. "We may as well just stick a ruddy 'Kick Me' sign on his back!" Fred's voice dripped with sarcasm as he flopped down on Sirius's bed and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.

Sirius suddenly stopped pacing. "What did you say?"

Fred glanced at him oddly. "About the 'Kick Me' sign?" Sirius nodded. "I was just joking, thats the oldest, lamest one there is!" But Sirius smiled broadly.

"Maybe a normal piece of parchment with 'Kick Me' wrote on it, but what if it said something else?" He smiled conspiratorialy as the Twins suddenly jumped to attention.

Fred and George simultaneously spoke. "Teach us, oh Great One."

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Tonks sighed as she flopped down on her bed. Ginny was sitting upside down in her swively muggle chair that was called a 'Compy-utter Chair' or something to that affect. Her long hair dragged the ground and her feet were hanging over the back as she spun in circles with her fingers grazing the floor in order to keep herself going. Remus was stretched out on the floor looking positively green as he watched Ginny's upside-down spinning increase in speed.

"Ginny, can you please stop." She obliged and looked questioningly at him. "Its just that, even though you seem to have a stomach of steel to be spinning upside down like that, just watching you had made me slightly motion sick and I think much longer and I'd have had to run for the loo."

Tonks snorted. "Remus, I wouldn't have expected you to be prone to motion-sickness." He just nodded, still looking slightly green. Suddenly Tonks sat up. "I've got it!" When Ginny and Remus both stared blankly at her she elaborated. "We need to get the basic feel of Sirius and try to figure out how he thinks! We then will know what to expect, and what his weaknesses are." She turned to Remus. "You seem like a likely candidate to get information from seeing as you've known him longer than I've been alive and are currently sleeping in the same room as he is." Remus groaned. "Whats wrong?"

"God I feel old." She looked puzzled. "You just said I've know him longer than you've been alive. Which, sadly is true."

Tonks smiled but moved on. "So, Remus, What was Sirius's favorite subject in school?"

"Charms. James always hated him because that was the only class he could beat James at." Remus said with a smile.

Tonks looked surprised. "Really? I would have thought it was Potions. Mother said the reason I loved Potions was because it was a Black thing. She was alway best at Potions." She thought about it for a second. "Actually, I think the reason I liked Potions was that I could actually do it and I was the only one that the teacher couldn't get to. The harder Snape tried to scare me or intimidate me, the better I did."

Remus groaned horribly and covered his face." I don't think I've ever felt this old!"

Tonks and Ginny both looked puzzled. "Why?"

Remus sadly sighed and looked at them. "Tonks, Severus Snape is my age. No, actually, he's younger than me, My birthday is September 28 and his is in the spring I believe."

Both Tonks and Ginny had horrified looked on their faces and their mouthes hung open. Ginny was the first to recover. "Oh my God! Pro- I mean, Remus how old _are _you?"

Remus smiled at the use of his name instead of Professor. "Well, I was thirteen, no, fourteen when Tonks was born,"he glanced at her, "so you do the math."

Tonks counted quickly and looked shocked. "Snape's that young?"

Remus looked at her. "Oh, gee, thanks Tonks. You don't care that I'm old, just that Snape is that young."Ginny asked how old Tonks was.

"I'm twenty-three, twenty-four in December." She turned back to Remus. "So you're thirty-six? Thats not old!" She looked relieved. "I thought Snape was about forty-five and that you were about thirty-four."

Ginny looked at Remus. "Are you sure that your older than Snape? I mean, you don't look old at all, and he lookes like an old codger!" Tonks and Remus laughed.

Tonks looked around seriously. "So, we've established that the meetings between a middle-aged werewolf, and two girls less than half his age would look really bad for all of us under different circumstances. Now, lets get back to Sirius." She paused and thought. "Ok, what is Sirius's largest fear?"

Remus smiled sadly. "Well, his largest fear is one that has already came true once before." Ginny caught on immediatly and looked down sadly, but Tonks was slow on the uptake and still looked puzzled. "His worst fear is the same as my worst fear," He paused slightly, "The people I love being hurt." Tonks looked at him in horrible realization and her mouth formed a silent 'oh'. But Remus moved on. "But, his largest irrational fear is"he sniggered slightly" frogs. Sirius, my dear friends, is deathly afraid of frogs. I still don't know why, but once we were out one night and one jumped on his arm and started crawling up it and he squeeled like a little girl."

Tonks smiled. "Good. We atleast know that his prank will not include a frog." She thought long and hard on what to ask next.

"Ok, what is Sirius's favorite phrase?" Remus started sniggering and turned red. "I don't know about now, but when we were in school he had this phrase he made up himself. He liked to make a game of saying it to girls and seeing which ones slapped him and which ones... er-" he looked for the right word. "- um... accepted." He started giggling like a girl which made both Ginny and Tonks looked up startled.

Tonks waited untill he was through with his girly giggle fit. "And? What was it?"

Remus looked startled. "Well it's sort of-" he glanced at Ginny, "-inappropriate."

Ginny looked at him like he was crazy. "Um, Remus. I grew up with the Twins, not to mention brothers who are eight and ten years older than me and not much better than the Twins. I've got a feeling I've heard much worse." as an afterthought she added. "Actually, I'd be willing to bet whatever you have to say is tame compared to the things i've heard over the years."

Remus looked between them both and sighed. "Oh, but you must promise that Molly never hears I mentioned this in front of Gi... actually, in front of either of you as far as she's concerned."

Tonks cut him off ."Stop stalling!"

"Alright, alright, Sirius favorite saying was..."He paused dramatically. "I'm hott, Your hott, let's shag."

Tonks and Ginny fell over they were laughing so hard so that they ended up in a pile on the floor. Tears were streaming down Tonks's face and Ginny looked slightly purple from laughing. After a moment, Ginny caught her breath and said, "I'll have to try that one sometime!" which left both Tonks and Remus looking startled at her.

Tonks turned to Remus. "I think that anything you could think of saying would be subdued in her case. Especially after she said that!" Ginny looked at then in a mock scowl.

"I'm still here you know?" They all laughed once more. "But seriously, Remus, If that was the best he could come up with, then he's weak! Although, that was a good one for him to come up with. Did it ever work?"

Remus looked startled at her blunt question while Tonks thought it was hilarious. "Ginny!" He said. "I thought you and Ron were the sensible two of the Weasley children?"

Ginny snorted. "I'm really good at hiding it, but I'm the master of the misbehavior. And Ron? He's only seemingly sensible because Hermione has him whipped. They're both so bloody oblivious to the fact that they are obviously smitten over each other. Hermione is sensible and Ron is to stupid to do anything so he just follows her like a love-starved puppy." Tonks was grinning at Ginny but Remus looked stunned at her straight-forward description of her brother and Hermione.

Tonks wanted to see what else she had to say. "So, now that we have the love-life..or lack of.. of your closest brother, what about the Twins?" Ginny grinned and started.

"Ok, so at school there is Fred's team-mate Angelina. I'm not sure, but I believe they are currently dating, but they don't actually date. I think they are trying to keep it private because they never hold hands or anything, they act like friends when everyones around, but the way my dear brother looks at Angelina kinda tells on him. And I caught them comming out of an empty classroom last year after the Yule Ball. I thought they had just gone as friends, but I'm not so sure, seeing as they looked slightly disheveled comming out of that room." Remus still was shocked at her, but smiled now.

"What about dear George?" Tonks asked, excited to be getting the information on everyone.

Ginny smiled. "George, is almost like Ron except that George knows he's falling head over heels with his best friend, where as Ron is simply blind. And before you ask, No, George's best friend is not Lee Johnson." She answered Remus's unanswered question." Lee is his friend, but Lee and Fred are more of best friends. Alicia Spinnet's sister was Bill's best friend so Alicia was around alot when we were little and has been George's best friend forever."

Tonks looked surprised. "Regina Spinnet was her sister?" Ginny nodded. "Regina was two years above me at hogwarts. I remember her and Bill were like brother and sister. I think I remember seeing her and Alicia at the Burrow once for christmas didn't I?" Ginny nodded.

"Anyway, I think George had been steadily falling for Alicia for about a year, but she is to bloody blind to realize it! Poor guy, she could tell him to set his own foot on fire and he'd do it. You should have seen this one time before the Yule Ball. Alicia is pretty and got asked by alot of people. Well, for some odd reason, a slytherin descided to pin her against a wall in a deserted corridor and say inappropriate things to her... unfortunately for him, George was looking for her and lets just say he found her alright." Ginny laughed. "I bet that stupid Slytherin still can't walk straight."

Tonks descided to move to another person. "Lets see, what about..."she cast around for someone to ask about when it hit her. She grinned. "What about dear, old Remus here?"

Remus started to go scarlett and spluttered something about 'thats not right' but Tonks just put a Silencing Charm on Him so that all he could do was squirm, and couldn't interupt. "Well,"Ginny said. "He's hard to figure out." She spoke to Tonks as if he wasn't there. "I think he fancies someone in the Order..."Remus started miming for her to stop. "Buuuut, " She enjoyed watching him squirm. "He does share a room with Sirius. And he seems to know a whole lot about him. "She smiled at the appalled look on Remus's suddenly pale face and his mouth hanging wide open. "Maybe theres a good reason for them to share a room when this house is full of empty rooms that only need to be cleaned." Remus crossed his arms in an attempt to looked surly. "No. I don't think he fancies blokes. But..."

They never got to finish tormenting Remus because there was a knock at the door and the Twins opened the door and looked in.

"Mum says she want's us all to help her clean a little today."

All three of them rose and started to the door when Remus started waving his arms wildly. Fred looked curiously as he mimed not being able to talk. "Did they Silence you, mate?" Remus nodded fervently. George smiled.

"There you go." George waved his wand and Remus smiled. "Thanks George."

"Don't worry, mate." George slapped him on the back. "They've done it to me before."

As they started down the hall, Tonks remembered that she left her wand in her room and after mumgling "Some auror I am" set off to get it. Fred and George hurried into their rooms and told Remus that he was assigned to the Library. Remus went into the Library and found Ron there reading a book on Quiditch. Remus quickly asked if he knew that Mrs. Weasley had set them to cleaning and found that Ron hadn't heard. Remus turned to the shelf and started to organize books when Ron started to leave. Halfway to the door, Ron turned and said "What is-" he couldn't finish. Try as he might he couldn't say anything or control his feet.

"Er, Ron?" Remus asked as Ron walked towards him, but tried not to. "What are you doing?"

Ron tried to reply but couldn't. before either of them could stop him, Ron had kissed Remus on the cheek. "EW!" Ron yelled."I'm really sorry, I couldn't control my feet! As soon as I read.. Th.. si...? Why can't I say it?" Ron tried to say something again but nothing came out but a slight gurgle. He shrugged and told Remus to look in the mirror and left.

Remus was completely freaked out, having just been kissed on the cheek by a fifteen year old boy and not been told why. He looked in the mirror but saw nothing, He even looked at his back and saw nothing. He couldn't figure it out. Remus quickly put up the books he was holding and went to find Molly and see what she thought.

Remus had just closed the door and made for the stairs at the end of the hall when he heard Ginny behind him.

"Hey Remus. Why..?" Shecouldn't finish her thought. He turned and his fears were confirmed when she gave him a peck on the chin, as that was the highest place she could reach. She looked in horror at what she had just done. "I'm soo sorry! I couldn't stop, I don't know but I just read... Th...oh! i can't say it!" Remus told her not to worry and headed on towards the stairs.

Remus had made it to the second floor landing when he heard footsteps comming from the second floor corridor. _Please stop walking! _ But his prayers went unanswered for he heard the unmistakable sound of someone stopping behing him.

"Professor, whats that on.." It was Hermione. She was apparently struggling to say something, but couldn't. He turned to her just in time to get a small peck on the jaw bone from a scarlett Hermione. "Oh My! I'm soo sorry I just-" He cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"Don't worry, Your now the third person in the last few minuted to unexplainably kiss me, so don't worry about it." He started back down the stairs to the hallway and had almost made it to the doorway to the kitchen before he heard the sounds of someone comming down the stairs.

"Oh no." he muttered as he made a dash for the kitchen. As soon as he entered he saw Sirius and Molly sitting at the table arguing. Molly started to turn to the door but Remus stopped her. "Molly! Don't look at me. NO seriously." She obliged though grudgingly.

"Remus, why ever not?" she asked.

He sighed. "Someone has done something so that everyone i've so much as met has taken one look at me and then kissed me!" Sirius snorted into his tea and Remus turned to him. "IT'S NOT FUNNY! Sirius, this is too much! I've had the great pleasure of being kissed by three children! One of which was male and I will probably be scarred for life. As will poor Ron, Ginny and Hermione!" Noone had heard the door open.

"What about Ron, Ginny and Hermione." Tonks had walked in. "Hey Remus, whats that written...oblah... i mean, nobuk... no, i can't say it!" Remus sighed and turned to her.

"Oh no." he muttered. Tonks suddenly looked very afraid of her feet , as they were moving of their own accord. She crossed the kitchen to Remus, who was looking down at his shoes.

Suddeny he got an idea. It wouldn't keep Tonks from kissing him, but it would, however, lesten the imbarrasment. He looked at Tonks. "Hey Tonks, can I talk to you out here for a second?" He ran past her and out the door. He waited for her to come out also and suddenly went into the old dining room to the side. It hadn't been cleaned and the door hadn't been replaced, so he pulled back the curtain that was temporarily covering the door, praying that no one else would have the idea to run into the dining room. As expected, Tonks came in and closed the curtain behind her.

"Um. Remus? Why can't I stop following you?" She was apparently tryin her best not to, which resulted in tiny slow steps, but steps all the same.

He sighed. "Sorry to tell you,but for some reason, everyone who's looked at me other than Sirius has been unable to stop themselves from-" he never got to finish because Tonks had crossed the room and was standing about 2 inches from him. He looked down at her. She looked utterly terrified that she couldn't stop anything she was doing, but her eyes were dancing with colors as he looked down into them.

Before she could stop herself, Tonks had grabbed Remus by the sweater and pulled him down to her. But, instead of a simple peck on the cheek like everyone else, she put her lips on top of his. Their lips brushed so lightly and quickly that it almost seemed like it hadn't happened at all. after realising she was free, she jumped back like she'd been burned. She started to open her mouth to say something, but Remus held up a hand to silence her.

"I know, Your sorry, you couldn't stop yourself, you read something - still havn't figured out what yet - and you can't say it nomatter how hard you try. Correct?" Remus smiled at the shocked expression on her face.

"Erm, yeah thats about it. But how did you know?" She looked up expectantly.

"Because, it's the same thing Ginny said, the same thing Hermione said and even the same thing Ron said."

Tonks looked startled. "You kissed Ginny, Hermione and Ron?" Remus laughed.

"Correction, they kissed me. But I will say, your the only one to kiss me on the lips. Ron kissed me on the cheek, Ginny on the chin and Hermione on the jaw. I guess whatever it is makes it where noone can kiss me in the same spot. I'm guessing that if Sirius wasn't oddly immune, he's kiss me on the forehead and if i hadn't made Molly stay turned around, she'd have probably kissed me on either the nose, or the neck." He sighed. "All in all, we need to get Sirius to fix this one before the meeting. I seriously doubt anyone wants to see Mad-Eye kiss me anywhere thats left!"

Tonks laughed as she imagined Mad-Eye kissing anyone anywhere. "Let me go and get rid of Molly and then we can get Sirius together."

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Later that night at dinner, Everyone wondered where Sirius was. Everyone except Tonks and Remus who, when asked, meerly shrugged and mentioned seeing an odd lump under the rug in the old Dining Room. Everyone had found out that Sirius was the one who had stuck the enchanted sticker that said 'Kiss Me' on Remus's back (even though it was actually George who had placed it.) Molly hurridly went to check it out and came back with an irate Sirius who was covered from head to foot in dust. Sirius said nothing, but scowled at Remus. Remus glanced at him.

"You know Sirius, you shouldn't have done that. I've been taking it easy on you... So far." And everyone went back to their dinner.

**A/N: i know, i know, i give you long chapters, then short chapters, then long ones again. I CANT HELP IT! whatever flows, flows. Sometimes i get good ones, some times i get shorter ones. Anyways, The next one might be the last prank of the prank war, but i'm not sure. I think i've got the prank, but i'm not sure. keep the ideas comming just in case.**

**chelly!**


	10. leather and heels

**A/N: I know, its been FOREVER since I updated.. But I told you it wasn't abandoned, I came back!!! But don't expect quick updates sadly… I'm swamped with school and I'm actually supposed to be learning a monologue for drama class now anyway.. But I suddenly felt like writing.**

Remus, Tonks, and Ginny were sitting on the floor of Tonks's room once again. Ginny was sprawled on her back and kept drawing shaped with her fingers in the air. Tonks sat staring at the wall across from her and thinking about her next auror assignment. Remus lay on his stomach with his head in his hands. Anyone would have thought he was asleep if not for the mumbling coming from him. "We could paint his eyebrows blue." Remus mumbled for the forty-third time that afternoon.

Suddenly, Tonks flew up and ran to her closet. Remus, startled by her sudden movement motioned to Ginny and both of them stood and moved out of the line of the flying articles of clothing that Tonks was throwing pell-mell from the closet. Remus was content to stare wildly until a particularly wild toss from Tonks landed a black vinyl corset on his shoulder.

"TONKS! What the hell is all of this stuff?" Remus gestured to the corset and to the other strange articles of clothing Ginny was sifting through which included a single left boot that was leather and looked to reach about mid-thigh, a red leather jacket, a blue ballet slipper, an odd assortment of multi-colored gloves, a pair of yellow spandex pants and an object that appeared to be some sort of riding crop. "Er… Tonks?" He looked at her suspiciously, "You could have told us you had an odd night-life."

Tonks laughed at the expression on Remus's face and walked over and grabbed a pair of purple fish-nets off of her chair and sat down. "Remember how I mentioned it was much easier to have an extensive wardrobe than to transfigure my clothes when I go undercover? This is what I meant." She smiled happily and pointed to the closet. Ginny walked over and looked in the door. Only then did it dawn on them that she had every imaginable article of clothing in that magically expanded closet.

"This is all great and wonderful, but how exactly does this help us with our Sirius problem?" Remus looked skeptically over his shoulder at the closet. " Turn him into a hooker?"

Tonks nodded and smiled evily "Precisely."

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Sirius stirred, mumbled in his sleep and then rolled over. He realized it was dawn by the cool gray light that filtered in through the window. He lay for a moment before realizing he would never get back to sleep and may as well get dressed and get a cup of tea. He stood and walked towards the door before he realized something… The floor was empty. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes before looking again, sure as ever there wasn't a single article of clothing on the floor. Beginning to be slightly worried, Sirius went for his wardrobe and slung the door open. What he saw was enough to make him cringe.

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Remus, Tonks, and Ginny were particularly early for breakfast that morning. Remus had awoken early and snuck down to get a good seat for the mornings activities. Tonks showed up before long with Ginny in the lead. Ginny yawned "Can I have some of your coffee Remus? Me and Tonks had a girls night and didn't get to sleep untill about an hour ago." Remus poured her a mug and smiled… he was corrupting the good British children in this house.

Everyone greeted a smiling Molly as she began making breakfast. The smell of cooking food had soon lured everyone into the kitchen.. Everyone that is, except Sirius. " Where in the world is that man?" Molly could be heard muttering under her breath while everyone else tucked into a delicious breakfast as always. About halfway through the meal a loud crash came from the stairs leading down to the basement kitchen followed by a loud thud of something crashing against the door. The door soon swung open to a sight that left them all speechless.

There, with a look of pure hatred etched into his face, was Sirius. But this was no normal Sirius, this was a side of Sirius none of them had ever seen and most likely never wanted to see. The source of the crash was apparent as he was wearing 5 inch stiletto leather boots that reached his knees, a lime green mini-skirt with some black fishnet hose, and a purple sequined halter-top with built in push-up supports.

"Alright! REMUS JOHN LUPIN, you have to the count of THREE to tell me where my clothes are!" The entire kitchen suddenly realized the hilarity of it all and burst out laughing. "ITS NOT FUNNY!" interjected a scarlet faced and slightly wobbling Sirius. "How would you like to wake up with your clothes missing and your entire wardrobe replaced with rather strange clothing… this was the best of all the clothes there!" The entire table laughed as Sirius began to relate how his wardrobe was now full of corsets and mini-skirts and bras and knickers and other odd pieces of women's apparel.

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".. and there's this little whip thingy that you see horse jockeys holding…I don't know what its doing in there…" A loud POP interrupted dinner in the kitchen that night as Sirius was just telling Arthur of the odd devices he'd found in Tonks's closet ("I always knew it was in the Black gene to be kinky…") and earning a few good whacks from Tonks.

Dumbledore stood in the middle of the kitchen. The chatter stopped as Dumbledore looked to Sirius, "Something has happened."

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!! I've been mean and havn't updated in FOREVER, but seriously, REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!**


	11. WHAT!

**A/N: im back in the writing mood and thought i'd bid for a few more reviews. I must warn you, this chapter probably wont be as funny as some of the others. so, without further delay...**

_Dumbledore stood in the middle of the kitchen. The chatter stopped as Dumbledore looked to Sirius, "Something has happened."_

The kitchen was silent as all eyes were on Dumbledore who began to speak. "At 9:23 this evening, Harry was attacked by dementors in an ally where he was walking with his cousin, Dudley." The room was silent with this announcement. Everyone was still staring at Dumbledore as if expecting more. Sirius was the first to react.

"Is he alright?" The concern was etched into every line of Sirius's visibly paled face. Dumbledore nodded the affirmative and everyone sighed with relief. Suddenly everyone jumped up and started speaking rapidly and loudly about what was to happen.

"EXCUSE ME!" Dumbledores cry got everyone attention and everyone froze in mid step. "Thank you. Now, the ministry has expelled Harry from Hogwarts, but don't worry, i will straighten everything out. Arthur, will you accompany me to the Ministry?" with that, Arthur leapt to his feet and ran to get his jacket. "Now, its best I leave but I have a task for you, Remus, "Dumbledore glanced at Remus and then looked around the table "and you Tonks, you can assist Remus. I want you to start putting together a plan to go get Harry from his aunt and uncle. He can no longer stay there, it is hazardous to the entire family." Dumbledore strode from the room swiftly and the sound of two identical 'pops' could be heard from the front hall.

Sirius looked ready to faint and suddenly jumped up and muttered something about a letter as he fled the room. Molly stood and began to usher the children from the table and led them up the stairs, with them arguing as they went. Tonks looked around and realized she and Remus were all that was left.

"Wow... just.. wow." Tonks looked blankly at the scrubbed table before her. She glanced up at Remus who looked worriedly at his clasped fingers. "So, how are we going to rescue Harry?" Remus idly shook his head still staring down at his hands. Thoughts were rushing through Tonks's head a thousand miles a minute but none that seemed usable.

Remus interrupted her thoughts. "We should go upstair and start working. It will be a few days atleast before we can actually go to get him so we have time, but I have duty tomorrow night and you have to work tomorrow dont you?"

"Yes, we should get to work. Lets go to the drawing room, i'll bet you that Sirius is in your room writing up a storm as we speak." Remus nodded agreement. The stood to walk and Tonks added as an afterthought, "It will be nice and warm in there too, with the fire and all" and they exited the room.

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"We could always pull one of those muggle tricks with the skylight and the ropes tied around the person's waist. You know, the ones where the other person lowers-" Remus interrupted her.

"Toooonks!" Remus whined. "We need a plan that will work _withought _getting caught and _with_ everyone surviving!" Tonks sighed and layed her face down on the floor where she lay infront of the couch where Remus sat propped against the arm with his legs stretched out the length of it.

"Well, you think of something for once! I helped you with those bloody jokes!" Tonks's words were muffled by the fact that her face was burried in the carpet. She sat up and crawled so that her side was against the couch and she lay with her hands beneath her head. "I'm to tired to think.. its got to be one already!"

Remus glanced at his watch "Two thirty-two actually. And yes, i'm a bit tired as well. but we must keep thinking. Harry needs our help and we d-don't need to b-be l-l-lazy..." He fought off a yawn but it managed to escape. He glanced down and saw that Tonks lounged out right below him with one hand under her head and the other on the floor beside her. Remus smiled and descided he would just lay back a minute and rest his eyes. He could plan by himself and let her sleep, but he would just take a little breather.

As soon as his eyes closed, his breathing began to deepen and he was asleep instantly.

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At 4am Sirius awoke for reasons unknown and glanced around the room to see what had woke him. He noticed that Remus's bed was empty. He stood and made his way across the room, around a pile of books and looked closer. Remus's bed hadn't been slept in. Sirius became alarmed and crept quietly out of the room. He crept down the hall and stopped. He glanced back and realized the door he had just passed had light comming from under it. He opened the door to the drawing room slowly and smiled at the sight that met him.

Remus was asleep on the couch with his right arm dangling off the edge of the cushions. His fingers were intertwined with the fingers of a sleeping Tonks who was layed out parallel to him on the floor. Sirius wondered whether or not to wake them, but descided against it. He slowly closed the door and made the way back to his room with a sneaky smile on his face.

**A/N: Alrighty, there you go, again, not funny, but its sweet don't ya think? I know its short, all of my chapters are really short, but its the content that counts! I got this idea from something that happened to me... i was the Sirius of this situation.. hehehe! grins evily and calculatingly**


	12. Another day at worki

**A/N: Ok, this one will hopefully be longer than the last... me and my short chapters!**

Tonks awoke to find herself asleep on the floor of the drawing room. She rolled over and pushed herself to her knees. The couch beside her was empty and she wondered why Remus hadn't woke her up for work. Then it struck her._WHAT TIME IS IT!!! Oh i bet im late for work!_ She stood and barreled down the hall and started leaping down the stairs 3 at a time. She spun around the last landing and leapt the whole 7 steps and landed on the floor with a thud. She rolled over and stood and ran into the kitchen to find Molly cooking at the stove.

"Molly! What time is it?" She panted while favoring her right knee. Her landing hadn't exactly been very good.

"Tonks,dear! are you alright? Oh, its about eight. I let everyone have a bit of a lie in today." Molly smiled up from her soup. "If I had known you were still here I'd have got you up for some tea and breakfast before work." Tonks forced a smile back and turned to the door.

Tonks ran out into the hall and past the dusty portraits and didn't even bother to slow down as she wrenched open the front door. She heard the beginning wails of Mrs. Black's portrait untill the shutting door cut off the noise. She quickly apparated to the Ministry lobby's apparation point.

She opened her eyes to see the atrium full of Ministry workers making their way towards the golden lifts. She joined the throng and waited. Just as the grills of the nearest lift were closing, she squeezed herself through and found herself squished between a wizard with what looked like an old boot on his head, and a witch who had on bright green robes that were nearly blinding to look at. She waited impatiently at each floor.

Tonks was nearly shaking as the cool female voice finally announced: "Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services". As soon as the doors were wide enough for her to get through she was walking briskly towards the heavy oak doors which lead to the auror headquarters. She had just sat down behind her desk when a large stack of reports suddenly appeared beside a tray labeled 'IN'. Tonks sighed halfheartedly and pulled a file of the top of the stack and set to work.

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Tonks was just shutting a file labeled: 'UNLUCKY BRA'. Apparantly, some teen witches had gotten in a fight and one had took to cursing the others clothing items so the wearer would have unfortunate accidents for the duration of the time spent wearing the garments. "What has this world come to?" Tonks muttered to herself.

"I said the same thing to myself when i read a similar file concerning men's dress socks." Tonks jumped as Kingsley Shacklebolt spoke. "It was a very scary sittuation, that was."

"Merlin Kingsley! You nearly scared me out of my chair!" Tonks was breathing deeply trying to steady her nerves. "What is it you want?"

Kingsley wasted no time comming around her desk and pretending to read over her shoulder. "I have a message from Remus Lupin. He says to remind you that he has Guard Duty tonight, but not to worry because he has already thought up a plan for rescuing Potter. He says he will let you know tomorrow. He also told me about it and says that its going to be discussed at tomorrow nights meeting and then carried out the next night."

Kingsley straightened up and said loudly, "Now I want this file taken to my desk immediatley after you finish." He winked as he walked out of her cubicle and to the left.

Tonks spent the rest of the evening making a Howler to send to Charlie in Romania. About five minutes from time to go home she finished. She smiled to herself and thought _That will certainly scare the daylights out of my dear Charlie._

**A/N: I'm sooo sorry that its so short and that it isn't that great. Its really just a filler chapter to explain a few things. The next chapter i write will be the Order meeting where people volunteer to rescue Harry. I'm wanting to know, should I, of should I not write the actual rescue from her POV.. I mean, everyone knows what happens and i really dont think her POV will be much different from the actual JK telling of that part.. Review telling what you think: Rescue story, or not"**


End file.
